Michelle's Story

How Many???????????????????

16 pages, really???????????????????????????
I don't know about anyone else but I got to page 4 then leaped straight through to page 16 as I was quickly losing interest.

1 star

Same here but i only got to page 3. It is crap

How can any sane person generate 16 pages of such trash?

Obviously; by not being sane.

Unbelievable

I read pages 1, 2 and 16 and got pissed off when I couldn't give the story a minus rating, it is pure unadulterated crap, and unbelievable.

Loved It

Great story really liked it

I stopped reading after page one

I knew from the start that it was going to be very boring. Sorry you put all that effort into it.

Wow

Love your work and again not disappointed. Any wife with a nice hairy pussy is okay in my book. Well done. My favourite author on Literotica.

Andy needs to be put down. It would be the kindest thing.

He's already dead and a waste of oxygen. 16 pages of this crap. I guess the writing is good but it would benefit from editing, like cutting 16 pages of excruciating boredom to 1.

i see wow

wrote a comment he is still the biggest loser on this site , as for the story it was written by a person who died a long time ago just a loser with no hope should have been written in one page.

Just an adaptation...

Just an bad adult adaptation from "The Notre Dame hunchback"...

That was interesting

Wow that story took me for a loop.
Some misspelled and omitted words, but other than that I find no fault with it.
Solid story.
Please keep on writing.

a long story/ a chucky story but somehow it held me

usually not my cup of tea, I dislike a man making his wife a whore. but this writer kepted me ready.

If You Read

all 16 pages you deserve the misery and headache it gave you.

TOO LONG

It's really hard to keep a story this long interesting. You didn't do a bad job of it until you started with the "hot wife" crap. I was on the positive side of three before you did that.
You did have some spelling/grammer errors and some of the words were wrong if you are in US, I think you may be a Brit. and that is probably the way you do things. One other thing really bothered me. I learned to start a new paragraph every time the speaker changes. You never did; is that also a culture thing? One last comment, you jumped from third person to second person several times.

Wrong Category

Should have been in Rape, That is exactly what Mervin did, ably assisted by Andy, the most miserable excuse for a husband that exists, Both are subject to jail . When will you doughheads get the point that women don't enjoy rape.

Birth

It's a shame, Andy should have died at birth. Any man who would totally disregard what his wife clearly doesn't want just to satisfy his own kink, is certainly not a man who loves his wife. Really, force her to fuck other men or divorce. 16 Pages of pure shit! Tells her how to dress and then complains when George tries to screw her, because of the way she was dressed. I hope their daughters come home and kick their so called dad to the curb.

Ridiculous

With the exception of chapter 3 of At the Conference, I quite enjoyed your earlier stories because you kept them reasonably short and the theme of an attractive woman fucking an unattractive man was titillating. I was able to overcome my irritation at the portrayal of the women as creatures of no free will.
This story however is absurd. We should be eternally grateful to those women in the sex industry who cater to people with hideous deformities but they do so because they choose to or because they have to, not because they lack the capacity to resist. The notion that an attractive woman like Michelle cannot resist a poor unfortunate like Mervin is an insult to women and an insult to my intelligence. And to take 16 pages to tell us about it is to add injury to insult.

great story

Great story thankx

Needs editing

Unlike your earlier stories this is very sloppy. Requires drastic editing, POVs become muddled, pronouns all over the place, narrative inconsistent, and way too verbose and long.
Bit of a problem with the main concept of the story - rape and total humiliation of the wife. Really should be some other category.
A shame, with some more sensitivity it could have been a interesting addition to the cuckold genre.

Good read

Nicely paced. A bit long with daughters visit over Christmas break (that part could have been trimmed) and they were a bit quick on figuring out what had happened. Would like to see a part 2, if you feel like it. The Allotment was a good story line. Would like to see Mervin get a bit more dominating now that he knows where Andy is at mentally and that Michelle is submissive to him. Send Andy off to play with the trains while he takes care of the wife.

Strange

Good writing but story is not believable because she never would allow this from such a handicap man, Andy is taking advantage of him. Not to mention what would she look like to her daughters,a complete pig. This would not be how they would want their girls to act

Naughty Mrs. Stevens.

Class. 5*

favourite author

your great writer but i was disapointed with the end

enjoyable story

enjoyed this immensely, was great story to relax and have unhurried masturbate to

loved it

very good read apart from a few bits, the daughters coming home wasn't necessary, some typos but really enjoyed it, would like to se part two with mervin taking more liberties with her, but change the catagory, you might stop some of these wankers complaining, they click on the story to read it, then whine about it, they should try writing themselves. 5*

Great story but hate the way the husband was.

Great story but could not stand the way the husband made her feel so much guilt and the need for her to do as he said or else. I feel there is a closeness they will never feel. where if he had told her from the beginning that he like what he saw and wanted to see more. They could have a much more loving and understanding relationship.

Husband gets off watching her get raped... SICK

She was raped... doesn't matter what happened afterwards. Also, either get an editor or proof reader, too many spelling & grammatical errors that it hurt to read.

Liked it but needs a little polishing

I enjoyed the story but would like to offer a few comments/suggestions.

1. Break the 16 pages into 4ea 4-page stories. 16 is to many to read at once
2. Something a little wrong with time line. Andy's mother is 90 so what is he 50? but only married 18yrs one place and 20yrs another but yet has two daughters in University/College? This incongruity needs to be fixed. I would believe married 28 years.
3. There were some spelling and grammar problems where the wrong word was used etc. I would offer my services as an Editor.

All in all a very enjoyable read. Please don't take these comments as negative, just suggestions to improve an already fine work.

Cheers

Very well done!!!

I was surprised and quite pleased that you have posted another story. I thoroughly enjoyed you "Conference" saga and have re-read it many times.Your plot building is excellent and the dialogue is believable. The re-occurring theme of a reluctant wife submitting to her husband's illicit desires is simply delicious!!
Well done, indeed!!!
Please continue with your work.

Great story once again

I am nearly eighty and find it difficult to get it up until I read your work. Keep em coming!

Really a good story...but...

Really a good story...but 16 pages for a retarded lad to fuck his wife? 2 pages were enough...

Another Brilliant Story

Congratulations, another fantastic story thankyou...........please write more.

Ignore the fools who leave negative comments that dont write themselves, they are total fools.

Great story

I really enjoyed your latest story as I have all your others. I really thought at one point that Mervin was going to fuck the daughters as well. Perhaps in future you would develop the story to see Michelle being used by other men and Mervin's mum.

Brilliant

Another fantastic hot story, thankyou so much.......... please continue, your a fantastic writer.

didnt care for the story, a slut is a slut, a whore a whore, a cheater a cheater

1*

LOVE IT !.

ANOTHER FANTASTIC STORY, PLEASE WRITE MORE...

I really hope there will be a Michelle's Story Chapter 2. One of my favourite stories on literotica.
Thank you very much, lucy54. :)

So hot

A great read hope there is more to come with story, there are many ways to go, daughters, his mom, his moms g/f's, Christine, Simon, the big Arsehole Please keep the stories coming..

Writing a novel?

You have WAY too much time on your hands. 16 pages? I made it thru 6 pages -- waiting for the sex. This site is not an audition for folks trying to be a journalist or write a novel. It's a site for short stories -- about SEX. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

That's more stupid than I've seen spread over so many pages.

Can't say it was all useless writing, since I couldn't get past page 6 before I jumped to the end. You must Really like to write. Too bad you write so poorly.

Beauty and the beast.

I thoroughly enjoyed this story. I know people complain it is too long surely they must have realised that when they started.

It's well written and kept my attention all the way through. It left the way open for many more possibilities teasing us with the idea of the mother with Michelle or Mervin with the daughters.

Since pornography is all about having sex with people you shouldn't having sex with a retarded man is much better than the old hat of a blonde wife being used by a huge black cock.

great story

A follow up would be great

BRILLIANT

love it, your stories are just fantastic, hope to see you post more.

another brilliant story!

THANKS A LOT!

it held me in impressive mode all 16 pages... but I hope for part 2 also

yes and it deserved "5" without any doubts

outstanding

Loved it keep me hard to the end, I hope there's a part 2 with the daughters

Simply WOW! We DEMAND a Follow Up!

It's lovely having a story from a British writer for a change. One that writes such an absorbing an fun story to boot.

There were a few POV issues (mostly with Mervin's Mum meeting Andy... Just what happened). There were a few small details that dribbled like Mervin's nose... Forgive the bad pun, but all in all I really enjoyed it despite the little bit of polishing the story needed. All in all a very fine effort and one that has inspired me to do something in a similar vein. Thank you. :)

My Favorite

I agree with the poster who asks for a follow-up, one where Mervin takes control of both Michelle and Andy.

More, please!

Superb

Great story,certainly kept me on edge. As others said, need more, maybe Michelle returning to pub to satisfy her Andy. Sure hope there's more to come.

Fabulous!

I hope you continue this story. It is so hot

fabulous story

fantastic not quite as good as the gardening one but still one of the absolute best on Literotica. Great British writer . I am over 70 now and have ED but aqlways get hard reading "Lucy's" stories Pleeeease write more.