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English
Ok until the end
It was a nice game of fun between two women, that then turned into horribleness. The term 'slut' changed the whole feel of this. Otherwise, it was really good writing until then.
Slut? Who says that word?
I agree with the other writer. Too many of you "Writers" use the word slut so often it has become a boring cliche. It makes the entire story unrealistic. You also need as lead in to your story, so the reader knows how they wound up together in the first place. It's like you threw them into the pool. Your style is OK, but needs polish. Keep trying. I think that you will progress in time. This story was weak. There are better ways to develop an aggressive personality, and also keeping it feminine. The best example of what not to say, is (as is to slut) "He had a 10 inch cock,, Yeah, right, and how many of those are around? When I read that, I imagine the writer as a pencil dick virgin, with pimples.
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