She ...has to find a way to make this right if shes serious
She is the only one who really strayed, she does need to somehow make this right.
by
Anonymous11/04/14
one star RAAC trash
he may have suggested, he didn't go thru with it, she did with many men on two occasions. No reason for discussion, she needs medical testing for a year, a quick divorce, and out dating as a gangbang slut. End of Story. He needs to find a loving wife. In real loving wife marriages, each would have made sure the other was really into it before proceding, there was no follow thru, end of story.
She at a blink of an eye goes out an beds two guys? Then does a gang bang?
And its ALL his fault. She never discussed it she never put up resistance. She made choices also not just him. By the way should she not have fought for the marriage and for him.
No she is a contoling bitch that got upset because he did not fall in line. I would bet that she has been fucking around for years.
Oh, and as has been pointed out STD tests and pregnancy tests. If she is preg dump her ass is the trash.
Due to the cruel streak she exhibited he should only take her back, if he is a masochistic wimp, and then only after checking to see is she picked something along the way. It does sound like she is pregnant and wants her meal ticket back.
Lol, and he's suppose to believe she will give that all up. Where was the love last Saturday? Sorry, there would be no trusting this cunt again. If she even begins to believe she is being taken fir granted again it will be nothing for her to her out and get that fixed again. She jumped in way too quickly to give it up at all not to mention forever.
I imagine that if someone who has never had an open marriage wrote a soap opera script about a couple in an open marriage, this is what it would look like.
The husband in this story is far too insecure to ever consider such a thing, and the wife is the stereotypical, one-dimensional, selfish character that we often see portrayed on this site.
I appreciate the effort, but this one fell flat for me.
by
Anonymous11/04/14
Who in their RIGHT MIND would continue in this JOKE of a marriage?
Too bad we can't a number smaller than 1.
by
Anonymous11/04/14
I think I saw what you were trying to do...
The old "be careful what you wish for" exercise.
Problem is that she is just NEVER presented as being "worth it". You know, worth the apologies, worth the low self-esteem, the guilt, the humilliation, etc.
He was right to leave, he became wrong when he entertained the notion of continuing the marriage, and it became criminal, when he became blinded to her need for control.
She seemed like the type that was: "it's over when I say it's over....and not before"
Her bullshit "why didn't you fight for me..." After the way she had been treating him, what was there left to fight for? The frustration was, that the weeklong separation was JUST begining to allow the poor idiot some clarity, and then he fucks it up by being lured back into her trap.
Of COURSE she wanted the open marriage. He didn't have to talk her into it at all. She was ready for the slut sex, and the gangbangs. If she was about to be pissed off at someone who "didn't fight to save the marriage", then where was the mirror at, as she forgot who went along with the idea in the first place with fervor and excitement. She isn't portrayed as having ANY objections to the "idea" of the open marriage. So thus, she shouldn't have any leverage over HIS guilt for suggesting it.
No, all she wants is a cuck. The best sex with her husband was after she humilliated him. Carte blanche to gang-bang was just a bonus. Avoiding the divorce is temporary. But she will attempt to confuse him with mind games and lies, until SHE gets to be the one who says it is over.
I hope that by then, author, you WON'T feel the need to write about it. Would be a waste of time to describe the scenes to come: as obvious as is the brown nose on any willing cuck's face.
As to the writing technicalities...
Using the letter as framework, really came apart, as he had to describe to her (for the benefit of the audience) what she had already said or done. Using a letter gimmick CAN build emotional tension, but it needed to accompany a more balanced narritive explanation, OR find away to tell the story BETWEEN them using BOTH of their correspondence to compare and contrast versions of the story. Of course, email isn't very realistically useful for this purpose, and so the results of your story fail to meet what I think your expectation for it was. If you were to pull this story, in order to rework it, I would suggest you try telling it ALL from her perspective. Here would be the advantages, even if you kept the plot points EXACTLY the same.
1) the reader would be in her mind to learn her true motivations, and need for control. Most guys who like this type of story are more after that anyway, prefering those revelations to stories filled with whiny guilt ladden confessions from wimps.
2) her POV would have allowed for more complete, and "hotter" descriptions of the sex. Improve your erotic content, and improve your scores, even against the voices of the BTB side of the LW audience.
3) He could remain the stereotyped wimp-thinks-he-could-be-a-swinger-stud, without needing his internal dialogue. Her controlling, emerging hot-wife dialogue would be much more entertaining.
4) you could still include the letter(as plot device and tension builder), but cut out the unecessary parts, because SHE could fill in the audience with the particulars of how it when down, that first night, and after the weekend gangbang.
5) lastly, the reader would learn whether she has feelings for her hubby at all, or if all her feelings center around having a D/s marriage with her supposedly willing cuck canidate.
Personally, I would STILL have him leave her in the end, as he finally communicates that he is NOT so willing to be a cuck, or the sub part of an ongoing D/s marriage. Still, I think switching out the narration would go a long ways towards making this a much better story.
What do you think? Constructive criticism? Well, I tried. Hey, good luck, and thanks for your efforts.
2.5 rounded up to 3*s
This was a story that had possibilities. But you seemed to rush to an ending and the conclusions you reached along the way seemed either unlikely or implausible. At the very least your ending didn't seem to match their words and actions from earlier in the story. And that's why I didn't like this story.
Agree with anonymous comments that she is not worth it. Even if his self esteem is in the toilet he could do better and find love again. A very dissatisfying story.
by
Anonymous11/04/14
Bullshit story.
Two very pathetic people. Need to go their own ways.
Nobody hits one out of the park the first time up. This was a decent first try.
Next time allow public voting; it'll allow people to vent more easily. Remember it doesn't cost anything. Keep at it.
Not bad. Husband seems more of a pushover than he should be.
And her attitude was one that didn't say she was sorry she fucked those other guys, just that she wanted her husband. She purposely rubbed his nose in her actions then blamed it on him.
All in all, 3/5 stars. With practice, I'm certain you'll be a better writer.
He wants to "try out" another women so he suggest an open marriage. Then she goes out and fucks with 2 guys then the next night 12 guys!!! Really!!! The story shouldn't start with his wimp ass letter it should have started with the "lets have an open marriage" conversation.
by
Anonymous11/04/14
She'll do it again
First night it was his fault, her rubbing his face in it, her fault, the gang bang...she's just a slut and WILL do it again at their first disagreement.
Sorry, I hate wimp, cuck stories...and that's what this was.
BDEarth
by
Anonymous11/04/14
1 star
.
by
Anonymous11/04/14
Wish I could give less than 1 star
Terrible
by
Anonymous11/04/14
One thing to do:
Shoot that stinking whoring cunt into her dumb head! Devil awaits her.
Who wants her back? He obviously didn't care much about her in the first place. Now she is just another slut. She didn't go out and date, she went out and fucked like a slut. That is not what a normal woman does. Time to move on.
by
Anonymous11/05/14
If your happily married why look for something other than your husband or wife. Hubby was dumb to even to suggest this and she just used this as a chance to be a slut. He should of stopped if before it went to far and she did a double team and a gangbang how can you forgive that even if it was your dumb idea. He even didn't get to be with anyone she could have thereten divorce if she really didn't want to do this but she chose to go totally wild. She will do it again he show how weak he was and she showed what a pig she is.
by
Anonymous11/05/14
what complete utter GARABGE
you have to HATE someone to do what the cunt did... it would have taken me all of five minutes to slit her throat. Which of course is WHY NO ONE DOES THIS SHIT! It only happens in the pathetic minds of middle aged fat men who have only fucked their palm for the past 20 years. Women are NOT animals, and they are NOT mentally ill
by
Anonymous11/05/14
This couple should definately stay together . . .
They are too stupid to find anyone else who could stand either one. Not a bad plot idea, but poorly executed. Keep trying, but give your characters more substance.
i hope jen cheats on his dumb ass. what a sorry piece of shit. first he wants to have sex with other women so he tries the open shit. then when she starts to fuck other guys he just wants to slink away. to stupid for words.
by
Anonymous11/05/14
open marriage
never heard of a open marriage working out. the wife had two dogs ready very
fast. that does not say much for her. for her to brag and tell all the details is not
something that makes her look good. he is now a wimp and she knows it.
she has control and he is her slave
by
Anonymous11/05/14
WOW
Maybe she ends up preggers with some other dudes kid and he trows her out.
What a wimp! Yes, he fucked up by suggesting an open marriage. For that reason, he could not begrudge her her first night out, even if it was stretched a bit by her doing a double the first time out.
However, before her eight guy gang bang he told her he regretted his suggestion and indicated he could not handle it. She went anyway. That indicates she loves the experience more than she loves him. It won't be long before she is back at another pool party starring as an air tight pool toy.
But this wimp sits there crying, happy that his beautiful wife still wants him. Yeah, she wants him. In between gang bangs...
This was a good read that I quite enjoyed. It was well told & written but could have done with more background on how they'd got to this stage of their marriage.
However I know that I, would not be able to continue to be married to a wife who'd just told me she'd had the best sex ever with 2 other men, so much better than with me. Then followed that up by having a gang bang days later. Nope, not for me , she'd be history. Perhaps I'm old fashioned about cheating, but then I not dumb enough to suggest an open marriage anyway. 4 ****
Open marriages can be fun if both parties are on the same page.
My wife and I enjoyed the lifestyle for a while, but ended it when she realized that she didn't want to share me. The breaking point was when some guy tried to take her away from me. When she told him no cause she wouldn't do anything to hurt me, his reply was you are already hurting him cause he knows you're jealous and has been faithful to you because of it. She told me that she wanted to stop and we did.
I hear this said by wife's a lot, "you didn't fight for me". I shouldn't have to fight for you, you were mine. Woman want someone who is a caveman when it suits them but whoa be you if you get it wrong.
She was selfish? Once again the double standards rears its ugly head.
People who think that SHE was selfish need to check their double standards. The whole thing was his idea so that he could fuck the red-head. He is the selfish one. She went out and did what HE WANTED TO DO. I don't know why these kinds of stories always end in a gangbang or with multiple partners. I don't know any woman who goes from being happily married to getting fucked by two or more guys, but this is a porn site.
He should fight for her. He did take her for granted. He did stop paying attention to her. He wanted an open marriage because he did all of these things. Why shouldn't he have to show her why they should close it now? I find myself once again saying this, but if the story were reversed all of the people reading the story would be applauding.
by
Anonymous11/11/14
CRAP
CRAP--SHIT
by
Anonymous11/11/14
re to javmor79
Of course she was selfish. It was his idea to swing, but he had second thoughts and didn't fucked the red-head after all. She?!, like a duck takes to water, fucked and whored herself like a two dollar crack-whore on the last minute of the humankind existence. And , NOOOOO, she couldn't hold back and remain the loving wife because ... WHY?!.... he didn't fight for her. MY ASS ! SHE WAS A SELFISH CUNT WITH A MISSION. Fucked within an inch of her life and well satisfied for eons she want to quit "this yummmyyyyy suckkkkyyy fucckkkkyyy lifestyle" and be a happy and loving couple again. VOMIT !
English
MY BABY WROTE ME A LETTER
divorce papers or a Dear John would have been kinder. TK U MLJ LV NV
2 stars
Didn't like it.
She ...has to find a way to make this right if shes serious
She is the only one who really strayed, she does need to somehow make this right.
one star RAAC trash
he may have suggested, he didn't go thru with it, she did with many men on two occasions. No reason for discussion, she needs medical testing for a year, a quick divorce, and out dating as a gangbang slut. End of Story. He needs to find a loving wife. In real loving wife marriages, each would have made sure the other was really into it before proceding, there was no follow thru, end of story.
Groan
Just another bed wetter story.
?
She at a blink of an eye goes out an beds two guys? Then does a gang bang?
And its ALL his fault. She never discussed it she never put up resistance. She made choices also not just him. By the way should she not have fought for the marriage and for him.
No she is a contoling bitch that got upset because he did not fall in line. I would bet that she has been fucking around for years.
Oh, and as has been pointed out STD tests and pregnancy tests. If she is preg dump her ass is the trash.
Dlfferent
Due to the cruel streak she exhibited he should only take her back, if he is a masochistic wimp, and then only after checking to see is she picked something along the way. It does sound like she is pregnant and wants her meal ticket back.
Lol, and he's suppose to believe she will give that all up. Where was the love last Saturday? Sorry, there would be no trusting this cunt again. If she even begins to believe she is being taken fir granted again it will be nothing for her to her out and get that fixed again. She jumped in way too quickly to give it up at all not to mention forever.
This is bad, really bad
She fucked two guys! TWO!!!!
Bleach
There was never any explanation for her comments about how much better they were than her husband.
THAT would be the kiss of death for me.
Silly
I imagine that if someone who has never had an open marriage wrote a soap opera script about a couple in an open marriage, this is what it would look like.
The husband in this story is far too insecure to ever consider such a thing, and the wife is the stereotypical, one-dimensional, selfish character that we often see portrayed on this site.
I appreciate the effort, but this one fell flat for me.
Who in their RIGHT MIND would continue in this JOKE of a marriage?
Too bad we can't a number smaller than 1.
I think I saw what you were trying to do...
The old "be careful what you wish for" exercise.
Problem is that she is just NEVER presented as being "worth it". You know, worth the apologies, worth the low self-esteem, the guilt, the humilliation, etc.
He was right to leave, he became wrong when he entertained the notion of continuing the marriage, and it became criminal, when he became blinded to her need for control.
She seemed like the type that was: "it's over when I say it's over....and not before"
Her bullshit "why didn't you fight for me..." After the way she had been treating him, what was there left to fight for? The frustration was, that the weeklong separation was JUST begining to allow the poor idiot some clarity, and then he fucks it up by being lured back into her trap.
Of COURSE she wanted the open marriage. He didn't have to talk her into it at all. She was ready for the slut sex, and the gangbangs. If she was about to be pissed off at someone who "didn't fight to save the marriage", then where was the mirror at, as she forgot who went along with the idea in the first place with fervor and excitement. She isn't portrayed as having ANY objections to the "idea" of the open marriage. So thus, she shouldn't have any leverage over HIS guilt for suggesting it.
No, all she wants is a cuck. The best sex with her husband was after she humilliated him. Carte blanche to gang-bang was just a bonus. Avoiding the divorce is temporary. But she will attempt to confuse him with mind games and lies, until SHE gets to be the one who says it is over.
I hope that by then, author, you WON'T feel the need to write about it. Would be a waste of time to describe the scenes to come: as obvious as is the brown nose on any willing cuck's face.
As to the writing technicalities...
Using the letter as framework, really came apart, as he had to describe to her (for the benefit of the audience) what she had already said or done. Using a letter gimmick CAN build emotional tension, but it needed to accompany a more balanced narritive explanation, OR find away to tell the story BETWEEN them using BOTH of their correspondence to compare and contrast versions of the story. Of course, email isn't very realistically useful for this purpose, and so the results of your story fail to meet what I think your expectation for it was. If you were to pull this story, in order to rework it, I would suggest you try telling it ALL from her perspective. Here would be the advantages, even if you kept the plot points EXACTLY the same.
1) the reader would be in her mind to learn her true motivations, and need for control. Most guys who like this type of story are more after that anyway, prefering those revelations to stories filled with whiny guilt ladden confessions from wimps.
2) her POV would have allowed for more complete, and "hotter" descriptions of the sex. Improve your erotic content, and improve your scores, even against the voices of the BTB side of the LW audience.
3) He could remain the stereotyped wimp-thinks-he-could-be-a-swinger-stud, without needing his internal dialogue. Her controlling, emerging hot-wife dialogue would be much more entertaining.
4) you could still include the letter(as plot device and tension builder), but cut out the unecessary parts, because SHE could fill in the audience with the particulars of how it when down, that first night, and after the weekend gangbang.
5) lastly, the reader would learn whether she has feelings for her hubby at all, or if all her feelings center around having a D/s marriage with her supposedly willing cuck canidate.
Personally, I would STILL have him leave her in the end, as he finally communicates that he is NOT so willing to be a cuck, or the sub part of an ongoing D/s marriage. Still, I think switching out the narration would go a long ways towards making this a much better story.
What do you think? Constructive criticism? Well, I tried. Hey, good luck, and thanks for your efforts.
2.5 rounded up to 3*s
1*
Didn't like it either. Erotic? Not in my world.
Erotica?
This wasn't erotica, it was pathetica.
Will the marriage survive?
Will the marriage survive? I don't think so...He was the guilty one, but then she also showed her true self...
Did Not Like*
Sorry.
That was your ending?
This was a story that had possibilities. But you seemed to rush to an ending and the conclusions you reached along the way seemed either unlikely or implausible. At the very least your ending didn't seem to match their words and actions from earlier in the story. And that's why I didn't like this story.
Pathetic!
Agree with anonymous comments that she is not worth it. Even if his self esteem is in the toilet he could do better and find love again. A very dissatisfying story.
Bullshit story.
Two very pathetic people. Need to go their own ways.
Good first try...
Nobody hits one out of the park the first time up. This was a decent first try.
Next time allow public voting; it'll allow people to vent more easily. Remember it doesn't cost anything. Keep at it.
Not bad. Husband seems more of a pushover than he should be.
And her attitude was one that didn't say she was sorry she fucked those other guys, just that she wanted her husband. She purposely rubbed his nose in her actions then blamed it on him.
All in all, 3/5 stars. With practice, I'm certain you'll be a better writer.
Give me a break..........
how mushy can you get.
there is no marriage
to repair
and yes, it is his fault.
Not believable at all
He wants to "try out" another women so he suggest an open marriage. Then she goes out and fucks with 2 guys then the next night 12 guys!!! Really!!! The story shouldn't start with his wimp ass letter it should have started with the "lets have an open marriage" conversation.
She'll do it again
First night it was his fault, her rubbing his face in it, her fault, the gang bang...she's just a slut and WILL do it again at their first disagreement.
Sorry, I hate wimp, cuck stories...and that's what this was.
BDEarth
1 star
.
Wish I could give less than 1 star
Terrible
One thing to do:
Shoot that stinking whoring cunt into her dumb head! Devil awaits her.
This story could be subtitled: reconciliation after a massive fuckup
Couple is completely out of balance and will get divorced. I do appreciate that the author portrays consequences to stupid decisions.
What a moron.
Enough said.
Makes more sense ...
than about 95% of the stories here. I liked it. 4*s.
Yuck
Who wants her back? He obviously didn't care much about her in the first place. Now she is just another slut. She didn't go out and date, she went out and fucked like a slut. That is not what a normal woman does. Time to move on.
If your happily married why look for something other than your husband or wife. Hubby was dumb to even to suggest this and she just used this as a chance to be a slut. He should of stopped if before it went to far and she did a double team and a gangbang how can you forgive that even if it was your dumb idea. He even didn't get to be with anyone she could have thereten divorce if she really didn't want to do this but she chose to go totally wild. She will do it again he show how weak he was and she showed what a pig she is.
what complete utter GARABGE
you have to HATE someone to do what the cunt did... it would have taken me all of five minutes to slit her throat. Which of course is WHY NO ONE DOES THIS SHIT! It only happens in the pathetic minds of middle aged fat men who have only fucked their palm for the past 20 years. Women are NOT animals, and they are NOT mentally ill
This couple should definately stay together . . .
They are too stupid to find anyone else who could stand either one. Not a bad plot idea, but poorly executed. Keep trying, but give your characters more substance.
DIPSHIT
i hope jen cheats on his dumb ass. what a sorry piece of shit. first he wants to have sex with other women so he tries the open shit. then when she starts to fuck other guys he just wants to slink away. to stupid for words.
open marriage
never heard of a open marriage working out. the wife had two dogs ready very
fast. that does not say much for her. for her to brag and tell all the details is not
something that makes her look good. he is now a wimp and she knows it.
she has control and he is her slave
WOW
Maybe she ends up preggers with some other dudes kid and he trows her out.
A Timely Reminder
Of how open marriages are likely to work. The wife gets knocked over in the rush and the husband forages for scraps.
ok
We recently started an open marriage, it's not as much of a roller coaster this describes.
Final Paragraph Says it All
What a wimp! Yes, he fucked up by suggesting an open marriage. For that reason, he could not begrudge her her first night out, even if it was stretched a bit by her doing a double the first time out.
However, before her eight guy gang bang he told her he regretted his suggestion and indicated he could not handle it. She went anyway. That indicates she loves the experience more than she loves him. It won't be long before she is back at another pool party starring as an air tight pool toy.
But this wimp sits there crying, happy that his beautiful wife still wants him. Yeah, she wants him. In between gang bangs...
Nobody to like in this story.
JUST FUCK OFF YOU SELFISH CUNT !!!
nothing more to add
I rated it 4 stars.
A good story but I downgraded it from 5 to 4 stars because it is unrealistic for a faithful wife to go so overboard.
Enjoyed it
This was a good read that I quite enjoyed. It was well told & written but could have done with more background on how they'd got to this stage of their marriage.
However I know that I, would not be able to continue to be married to a wife who'd just told me she'd had the best sex ever with 2 other men, so much better than with me. Then followed that up by having a gang bang days later. Nope, not for me , she'd be history. Perhaps I'm old fashioned about cheating, but then I not dumb enough to suggest an open marriage anyway. 4 ****
Open marriages can be fun if both parties are on the same page.
My wife and I enjoyed the lifestyle for a while, but ended it when she realized that she didn't want to share me. The breaking point was when some guy tried to take her away from me. When she told him no cause she wouldn't do anything to hurt me, his reply was you are already hurting him cause he knows you're jealous and has been faithful to you because of it. She told me that she wanted to stop and we did.
put up a fight
I hear this said by wife's a lot, "you didn't fight for me". I shouldn't have to fight for you, you were mine. Woman want someone who is a caveman when it suits them but whoa be you if you get it wrong.
She was selfish? Once again the double standards rears its ugly head.
People who think that SHE was selfish need to check their double standards. The whole thing was his idea so that he could fuck the red-head. He is the selfish one. She went out and did what HE WANTED TO DO. I don't know why these kinds of stories always end in a gangbang or with multiple partners. I don't know any woman who goes from being happily married to getting fucked by two or more guys, but this is a porn site.
He should fight for her. He did take her for granted. He did stop paying attention to her. He wanted an open marriage because he did all of these things. Why shouldn't he have to show her why they should close it now? I find myself once again saying this, but if the story were reversed all of the people reading the story would be applauding.
CRAP
CRAP--SHIT
re to javmor79
Of course she was selfish. It was his idea to swing, but he had second thoughts and didn't fucked the red-head after all. She?!, like a duck takes to water, fucked and whored herself like a two dollar crack-whore on the last minute of the humankind existence. And , NOOOOO, she couldn't hold back and remain the loving wife because ... WHY?!.... he didn't fight for her. MY ASS ! SHE WAS A SELFISH CUNT WITH A MISSION. Fucked within an inch of her life and well satisfied for eons she want to quit "this yummmyyyyy suckkkkyyy fucckkkkyyy lifestyle" and be a happy and loving couple again. VOMIT !
Harry iVA's Witness
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