Your story started out with potential then seemed to fall off a cliff into tired cliches etc. You need to work on punctuation, sentence structure etc. Like I said it started out with a lot of possibilities then became less than expected.
"It begins to become passionate fuck" - what is this? Does it make sense? A proof reader or editor may be a good idea.
by
Anonymous11/13/14
Poor
Ridiculous premise, and reads like a 14 year old wrote it.
English
It started out with potential
Your story started out with potential then seemed to fall off a cliff into tired cliches etc. You need to work on punctuation, sentence structure etc. Like I said it started out with a lot of possibilities then became less than expected.
"It begins to become passionate fuck" - what is this? Does it make sense? A proof reader or editor may be a good idea.
Poor
Ridiculous premise, and reads like a 14 year old wrote it.
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