Not bad story, but definitely needs works. Find an editor to help you before submitting the next one. They will correct grammatical errors such as tense and other errors that were pretty consistently wrong from beginning to end.
With that said, you could still follow the story, so that is a good, important start. This was a hard read but not the worst out there. Find an editor & submit your next story for much better comments. (A little preface saying that it'll be the first story w/editor goes a long way.)
by
Anonymous11/12/14
Cute
Despite the errors, I found the story and presentation cute and simple.
by
Anonymous11/12/14
LAME
The writing did not conform to that of a fifty year old. It reads more like the writing of a 15 year old. No one says "OMG" except a kid. The rest of it sucked, and not in a good sense either.
by
Anonymous11/13/14
Just a reader
I like the concept of older siblings taking care of the sexual needs we all still have.
by
Anonymous02/02/15
Terrible
The only good thing about the story had to do with older siblings looking after each other and enjoying each other sexually. Other than that the story had no flow, was choppy and was difficult to continue reading. The story lacked emotion, teasing and sexual tension throughout. Please never publish another incest, or any other story for that matter until you have worked on it thoroughly.
It was that bad. The End.
English
1
How infantile!
SPELL CHECK PLEASE.
For goodness sake, learn English properly.
Need an editor
Not bad story, but definitely needs works. Find an editor to help you before submitting the next one. They will correct grammatical errors such as tense and other errors that were pretty consistently wrong from beginning to end.
With that said, you could still follow the story, so that is a good, important start. This was a hard read but not the worst out there. Find an editor & submit your next story for much better comments. (A little preface saying that it'll be the first story w/editor goes a long way.)
Cute
Despite the errors, I found the story and presentation cute and simple.
LAME
The writing did not conform to that of a fifty year old. It reads more like the writing of a 15 year old. No one says "OMG" except a kid. The rest of it sucked, and not in a good sense either.
Just a reader
I like the concept of older siblings taking care of the sexual needs we all still have.
Terrible
The only good thing about the story had to do with older siblings looking after each other and enjoying each other sexually. Other than that the story had no flow, was choppy and was difficult to continue reading. The story lacked emotion, teasing and sexual tension throughout. Please never publish another incest, or any other story for that matter until you have worked on it thoroughly.
It was that bad. The End.
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