A Christmas Gift

um, bad time-line

the parents have been "together for ten years since [they] finished high school" and they have an 18 year old daughter? so the mom was what, eight when her daughter was born?

hmmm i gave it 5* but it does need further editing. i was thinking 4 till the last.

I saw that cumming...

And obviously the "eighteen" was a mistake...

You had an editor?

Your editor needs an editor. She caught none of the mistakes here. You need to change your daughter's age to eight, not eighteen.

Tenses change from present to past. Weather can be "balmy", but breasts cannot. Find a new editor and this will improve very much. I do like the ending!