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The Heroes' Bar-Santa's Tale

byKethandra©
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Comments (7)
by Anonymous

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by CateJ11/10/14

Loved it!

Funny, sexy, clever. I can't decide if I'd rather sit at the Heroes Table or be used for Santa's personal pleasure. I hope you write more Kethandra. Truly well done and good luck in the competition.

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by mel_pomene11/10/14

What a marvellous story!

Good luck with the competition; I hope you win! Five stars for a delightful read.

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by JagFarlane11/11/14

Ending

Love the ending! Good luck in the contest!

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by rightbank11/11/14

I would love to hear more

tales from around the table.

and to all a good knight.

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by drmac10011/12/14

I like...

Very interesting and different. 5 stars for something simple and short!

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by Anonymous11/12/14

Proofread your work

For a contest entry you'd think this would be better written. There are typos, random capitalization and use of quotations that is very distracting.
To and Too are two different things.
Our's should be ours
He and She should not be capitalized in the middle of sentences. Strange.

But more importantly, I found this uncomfortable and creepy, not funny. All I could think was how her circulation would be cut off. The "tiny" 90-lb body was freaky. A little girl nailed up on the wall for Santa? Not funny. Perhaps I just don't get it.

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by Apple_Leigh12/08/14

Love the Premise

Your premise drew me in: the heroes' bar, the stockings, the sugar plum - very creative. Perhaps some places for improvement (but we all have those :). As they say, praise in public. Thanks for writing!

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