Daddy's Guilt

ew omg not hot at all

The story makes little sense, first you say he has an old ancient wrinkled face but then you say he has an athletic body and you never say why she doesnt get to keep the children.

Really ?? You can do it better!!

It was a good plot initially, but seemed like you were in a hurry and needed to end the story fast. It was so fast that ended tasteless and got me deceived on a good initial idea. Keep those ideas up and take your time for the story to evolve, develop in your mind and then you may start writing. You should enjoy writing ;)

revolting

Revolting.
Also, the father character in the story should be strung up by his testicles, and left to rot.

Sick, just plain sick.

Great idea!!

Needs more description, but beautiful concept. I loved it. Please write more!