Awful story. Horrible plot if there even was one. Mindless characters behaving badly and irrationally. Just terrible.
by
Anonymous11/13/14
Beneath
Yes, this story belongs beneath us, utter crap.
by
Anonymous11/25/14
good story
Makings of a great story don't know about castration though ignore the trolls and get the next part done
by
Anonymous01/05/15
Not sure.
There is one part of this I like - the husband and wife being enslaved by another woman and the man being 'sissyfied'.
But there's problems that counter the plus - castration for a big one. The style of writing is too clipped and detached. I got about as much emotion from the writing as I would reading a dictionary.
But there is the basic concept. I'd read a second chapter, or at least scan it over to see what happens.
Great story! Can't wait to read more!
As a counterpoint
Awful story. Horrible plot if there even was one. Mindless characters behaving badly and irrationally. Just terrible.
Beneath
Yes, this story belongs beneath us, utter crap.
good story
Makings of a great story don't know about castration though ignore the trolls and get the next part done
Not sure.
There is one part of this I like - the husband and wife being enslaved by another woman and the man being 'sissyfied'.
But there's problems that counter the plus - castration for a big one. The style of writing is too clipped and detached. I got about as much emotion from the writing as I would reading a dictionary.
But there is the basic concept. I'd read a second chapter, or at least scan it over to see what happens.
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