- All
Comments (31) - Add a
Comment
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
English
APPARENTLY THE CAKE IS NOT ENOUGH
she wants the ice-cream and the presents. TK U MLJ LV NV no stars
Actually saw it coming from early on.
Never referred to the wedding or called her "wife" or used any other obvious language one would expect a husband to use. . But it was well done.
@hinsight2020
Very astute of you. I didn't see the end come until it came. Thanks for the kind words.
@ DevotedWife
"JL, do you really think there are cures for fetishes?"
I sincerely hope not.
@tazz317
This bit of fiction is based on a actual event. An acquaintance told me of an experience he'd had, some years ago, as a young man, with a woman who turned out to be married. I merely put his story to words, with some embellishment.
fine tale with nice
twist at the end.
But Humor & Satire ?
still 5*****
@cpete
Although there isn't any obvious gut-busting humor in the story, I thought the situation was ironic, hence somewhat satirical. I doubt the 'real' people involved in this situation found it that way, but it is all about perspective. Isn't it?
@cpete
Also, thanks for your "score".
good story
I think you did well......now finish your first story .....you said you would
@harbormaster1
I have that goal in mind, to finish "Why". Life's experiences tend to effect changes in us, sometimes those changes are positive ones, while at other times they are less positive, or even negative, changes. With this in mind along with the loss of my original editor, and my own life's path changed, I found I could no longer write in the same style as previously. I tried, but the "Why" story was severely disjointed. I'm not one to give up, so to address this issue, I decided to rewrite parts of the plot and subplots. To hasten this endeavor, I'm actively seeking a editor. Thus far, neither effort is enjoying a speedy resolution. So, I ask of everyone to please be patient. I am working on "Why", as well as several other stories.
Enjoyed it
your writing is very good. Thanks for the offering. Wish I could rate it. Easily five stars.
THE ONLY CAKE EATER HERE IS THE ATT.
and after he got the icing and licked the bowl, he was sated with a caveat tort. TK U MLJ LV NV
Why can't i rate this miserable story.
I was dying to give it a zero.
Ha
The last line made this tale great. I wasn't expecting it. I actually forgot the category I was reading. I remembered at the end,
Funny but puzzling
What about the other guy. Why does she want to leave him?
It's obvious that she got preggers well over a year ago; that they haven't been a couple for some time. So, the raw emotions don't cut it (hers), it's as if it were during the first week she lost him.
As an attorney, you'd think that he'd want someone with a few brains.
Finally, after we learn:
- He's smart
- She's cheated in the past,
--heck, all their past!
- He stopped trusting her
- She was cutting him off.
#1. why in the hell did he stay with her? He wasn't suspicious?
- She continued her cheating
- Now, she's had a child by the other guy.
- She left him.
- She's married the jerk
- He knows it.
#2 Why would any sane person assume that he'd take her back?
#3 Most of all: why did he even agree to see her again?
Last comment on the story, the choice of abandoning her child was ugly. His not wanting to raise her lover's child is justified. Asking her to abandon the baby was not.
You can write and write well.
Thanks, I did enjoy it.
ttom
Excellent
I was sucked right in. Excellent last line, I didn't get that the attorney and the woman were the ones having the affair until the very end.
Well done!
I love the "flash" format, it is difficult to do well and you have succeded. Late in, early out, one scene, two people, lot of dialogue and a wonderful twist at the end. Well done!
Wow. Sorry I missed this fine tale when it was new
This author has some genius qualities that he incorporates into his thoughtful stories. Even a short one like this packed a powerful punch that made me think. I don't know about everyone else, but I didn't see the twist coming until the end. I had to re-read it after and say ,"Aaaah! I see". Nicely done.
what a zinger!!!
Talk about a Twist? This has to be the ultimate gotcha. I have to admit I was pulled in and set up for a masterful con. Rather than issue a spoiler alert, or offer a mea culpa, I will just say, Take the time to read this story, you won't regret it or miss the time.
well done.
One word...WOW
I came here from the author's current submission which even at 20 pages left me wanting to read more of that story. Then to find this gem which is so different from that one, but equally enjoyable. I can't wait to read more.
What an asshole
Dumping his cheating slut on her poor husband. What did that guy ever do to him?
loved it, now this one I wish
we could have voted on. 5****
"Go back to your husband..." LOL & LOL & PMSL.
O my God !!! What the hell have marriages come to ?
The story changed its meaning with those lines & that was really clever.
You are correct,though.This is a satire,for sure. But I also see it as a tragedy of our times.
May be, even a 'new normal' for the future generations.Sad.
You say you don't want it but I have to give it.
A 5 , for the offering.
So a pair of cheaters?
Certainly not likeable characters. He's over-the-top abusive. She's just a sniveling, pathetic mess. Why would he want to be with her? Why would she want to be with him, considering his attitude? Cute twist at the end, but it didn't make this any better.
With humor
There is also a bit of truth.
You Did It!
As I was reading the last few paragraphs, I was already composing my comments. I thought it was another ho-hum story....BUT....then I read the last paragraph. The line "go back to your husband" turned this story completely around. It went from a 2 or 3 all the way to a 5 with those 5 simple words. Thanks for the surprise and the fine and creative story.
zing!
nice
Damn****
That was good. Thanks for sharing.
O'Henry ending
Thanks for a great story and hope there will be more of this quality.
interesting
but why is he even talking to her? gives me the creeps.
She needs to do what he wants
Give custody of her son to the boy's father (the husband she cheated on) and go with her lover. And as she's telling hubby she hates everything of his, sign away all her rights to their marital assets, too.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to The Talk or
More submissions by JLRemora2.