The Castle on the Hill Ch. 02

Namisa will be teaching many a lesson and I can't wait!

Loving this!

Anxious for more

Mmmm interesting...........

I am very intrigued as to the relationship between Bethany and Damien. Also as to why he doesnt want another "sob story." Whats that all about?!?! Great story. I cant wait for the next installment.

she just got bought like a slave. she wants to help the people that helped her and to do so she has to become a slave to this dick who offered more then she could possibly turn down. whats worse is he did it in front of them so she couldn't without feeling like a bitch.

You have some excellent lines- really memorable(which a lot of romance writers on lit seem to not know they need in order to write romance). But I think you could do a better job establishing milieu. I have no idea what world this is set in- is this our world or an alternate universe? Is is contemporary, period? What country is it? Dollars are used in many countries.
Also, I think you need a character description of our protagonist, even if it's just her reflection in the pond. She doesn't even have to express an opinion on her looks.

This might seem odd to point out but for me this is an issue of plausibility: a person who had been starved and was "skinny", would not weigh 160 lbs in 3 months- especially if they worked on a farm. Unless she was constantly eating starches and not working at all, that's just not believable. Muscle takes time to build and to weigh that at her height and be slender, she'd have to have built muscle. It's not a question of ideal weights here, but realism concurrent with the story.

But I do hope we'll see more.

INTRIGUING,DEFINITELY!

I AM SOOOOO LOOKING FORWARD TO WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT. I WANT TO KNOW HOW BETHANY IS REALLY RELATED TO DAMIEN AND WHERE NAMISA IS FROM. CAN'T WAIT FOR MORE,UPDATE SOON!😉

Cant Wait For More

Im really enjoying the building of this story. Good Work!!

This story is so good:)

I really like Namisa and Damien. Bethany is such a delight too.