Loving wives seems to attract a fair number of stories about overly complex revenge plans, so this story is not incompatible with other stories that can be found here. I have a problem with murder, even if it is just a fantasy, and wonder if there might be a different website for that type of story. I come to this website for erotic stories. Revenge, violence, and murder (the ultimate violent act), may be a turn-on for some people but not me.
I for one would be more interested in reading the written product of your imagination if it dealt with erotic topics sans violence. If your next story heads in that direction, please share it. If not, please put enough warnings on it so that I can avoid it.
i.e. please help me understand what this means:
"It just depends on easy you let it happen."
or
"She had lived hand to mouth most of her because she had to."
huh?
and If the policy on him was for 200 grand, and his demise was ruled an accidental death, shouldn't the payout have been $400,000.? otherwise why mention accidental death?
and so on, and so on.
.
by
Anonymous11/14/14
Sorry, this reads like a....
....bad news story. Kinda like one of those deep investigative reports like Heraldo Rivera used to do. Too bad this wasn't any more credible than his stories were.
And more sadly than anything else, we never got a chance to care much for any of the rather shallow, shadowy and insignificant characters.
The storyline was a pretty good idea, but it would have been amazing, if you'd just put some effort into your characters, so we could care about them as people and not just narrated images, just outlines of people.
A little better effort on the editorial work with tense, person, number, spelling, grammar and the like, would help make the story more enjoyable to read, as well.
Great short tale. Bottom line, don't fuck with my little sister. Really. Don't.
I'd fuck you up. Bad.
ha
Five Stars
by
Anonymous09/10/15
Nice 2
Very well written short. FYI, character development is oftentimes given short shrift in shorts. . . I know it's not illiteration but for the life of me can't think of the proper term. Oh, well, feel free to bash my comment writing skills.
DHL
by
Anonymous02/21/16
Not a Literotica story
This has nothing to do with erotica. This should be in the Dumbstories.com web site.
It was poorly written and not even beleivable.
by
Anonymous02/21/16
And dear anony your comments should be in the assholes of the world
web site. I gave this a 5
by
Anonymous02/21/16
1*
VOTE 1* FOR EVERY STORY RATED BY THAT TRANNY BITCH FOOL VASTIESMITH2 AKA BONNIETAYLOR2 AKA ANON!
Add some tawdry details and this could one of the subplots to an Elmore Leonard irrelevant but irresistible pulps. .But any supplements have to be pertinent or amusing. Because if it sounds like writing , you got to rewrite it - to mangle one of 'pithier then thou 'quotes .
English
THERE ARE ALWAYS WAYS TO ALTER THE THROW OF THE DICE
or to re-read the plans and change the ending, TK U MLJ LV NV
YAWN
Pretty Lame...
Well, while these tales posted here are fantasy, this as a fantasy is still too unbelievable.
The Trollness is strong with these idiots. Good story, 5 Stars
Interesting story.
Enjoyable tale
Thank you, I enjoyed that, just desserts all round.
I think this is better...
and shows improvment over your previous work. If you only compare yourself to your earlier work, this effort should be viewed as a rousing success!
Keep going, the more you do, the better it gets. Thanks!
Good story...
Good story...This time the goods win...If he hadn't forget the phone, the bads would have won...Little details make the difference...
great story all their plans backfired on them
A nifty fun to read story.
****
Well, this time it's BTB (burn the bastard), eh? Good story, for the second time widow. Cheers!
Crap
A load of crap, loving wives? Wtf
Cute story
Short and sweet. Interesting tale. Thanks.
Wrong venue?
Loving wives seems to attract a fair number of stories about overly complex revenge plans, so this story is not incompatible with other stories that can be found here. I have a problem with murder, even if it is just a fantasy, and wonder if there might be a different website for that type of story. I come to this website for erotic stories. Revenge, violence, and murder (the ultimate violent act), may be a turn-on for some people but not me.
I for one would be more interested in reading the written product of your imagination if it dealt with erotic topics sans violence. If your next story heads in that direction, please share it. If not, please put enough warnings on it so that I can avoid it.
Nice but overly complex
Inventive and detailed, but still left little sis in danger and left too much to chance and circumstance. Still enjoyable.
Same as before
Bold drawing of black and white with nary a shade of gray. White hats and black hats galore. And the uppance has come.
Just a question: who are these people and why do I care about them?
I like the ice trick though.
Taking Care Of Baby Sister***
Good read. Thanks for sharing.
Does not make sense,
i.e. please help me understand what this means:
"It just depends on easy you let it happen."
or
"She had lived hand to mouth most of her because she had to."
huh?
and If the policy on him was for 200 grand, and his demise was ruled an accidental death, shouldn't the payout have been $400,000.? otherwise why mention accidental death?
and so on, and so on.
.
Sorry, this reads like a....
....bad news story. Kinda like one of those deep investigative reports like Heraldo Rivera used to do. Too bad this wasn't any more credible than his stories were.
And more sadly than anything else, we never got a chance to care much for any of the rather shallow, shadowy and insignificant characters.
The storyline was a pretty good idea, but it would have been amazing, if you'd just put some effort into your characters, so we could care about them as people and not just narrated images, just outlines of people.
A little better effort on the editorial work with tense, person, number, spelling, grammar and the like, would help make the story more enjoyable to read, as well.
@Sorry
Geraldo not Heraldo. Spanish is different lol.
Nice
Great short tale. Bottom line, don't fuck with my little sister. Really. Don't.
I'd fuck you up. Bad.
ha
Five Stars
Nice 2
Very well written short. FYI, character development is oftentimes given short shrift in shorts. . . I know it's not illiteration but for the life of me can't think of the proper term. Oh, well, feel free to bash my comment writing skills.
DHL
Not a Literotica story
This has nothing to do with erotica. This should be in the Dumbstories.com web site.
It was poorly written and not even beleivable.
And dear anony your comments should be in the assholes of the world
web site. I gave this a 5
1*
VOTE 1* FOR EVERY STORY RATED BY THAT TRANNY BITCH FOOL VASTIESMITH2 AKA BONNIETAYLOR2 AKA ANON!
KARMA IS A MOFO
What goes around comes around twice as hard.
?
The police would n ot call an ex in an accidental death. Get your act together.
Awful
Just awful
There are many cops in my extended fmaily
Yes they do call who ever they can.
Clever!
Very interesting! Could this ever happen??? Sure!
How did I miss this little jewel ?
Add some tawdry details and this could one of the subplots to an Elmore Leonard irrelevant but irresistible pulps. .But any supplements have to be pertinent or amusing. Because if it sounds like writing , you got to rewrite it - to mangle one of 'pithier then thou 'quotes .
Full marks *****
Fortuitous Events
Happy endings are nice. A little thin but I enjoyed the story. It did not have as much meat on the bone as I have come to expect from Wieliczka.
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