i see this is your first story. you definitely have a long way to go. you didnt catch my interest and half way thru the first page i had to give it up. maybe others will see something in your story. i for one was lost, from the very beginning.
Also, get you someone to edit your story and watch for typos, etc. It was a good story but alomost lost the reader because of the editing issues.
Wonderful story and characterization, I found it extremely erotic and atmospheric. Please keep writing such marvellous work...April
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i see this is your first story. you definitely have a long way to go. you didnt catch my interest and half way thru the first page i had to give it up. maybe others will see something in your story. i for one was lost, from the very beginning.
Also, get you someone to edit your story and watch for typos, etc. It was a good story but alomost lost the reader because of the editing issues.
Tutor
Wonderful story and characterization, I found it extremely erotic and atmospheric. Please keep writing such marvellous work...April
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to The Tutor or
More submissions by greensa.