Love the subject material and punishment aspects, however you need an editor! Watch when copy/pasting to the site as you placed entire sections of the story line on here more than one. Look forward to reading more of the storyline. :-)
by
Anonymous11/23/14
did you even proof this yourself before sending it to a second person for editing prior to publication?
You cut and paste an entire section, thus repeating it verbatim. Please do yourself a favor and proofread carefully. then, have a different person read it, correct any mistakes, and THEN publich it.
by
Anonymous11/23/14
I am not sure what happened in the end cause I quit reading it when the story started to repeat itself. So I lost interest and came straight here to comment without reading the rest of the story!
by
Anonymous11/26/14
Like everyone has commented.
Your story line was really, good. I was lost at the repeated lines of "He leads me towards the spanking horse. Taking my hand, he pulls me over it. My skirt rises, revealing my maroon gym knickers. Each leg of the horse is fitted with a leather cuff. Sir binds me tightly by the wrists and ankles."
it was repeated 2X. Proof read your story, if you don't have some one to edit your work, try to make sure there are no repeats. When your talking about a situation where the girl is a submissive and her husband is her Dominant, please keep in mind there are Dominants who read this too. When you use the title (sir) instead of sir being, sir put a capital over it when talking about her Dominant. like this. (Sir please no, don't punish me servery) makes sense. Other Dominants put a title over the other Dominants title as they are a equal to each other, a submissive will capitalize the title as they are Owned.
You had a great start to the story, keep up the good work. :)
English
Good Subject, But........
Love the subject material and punishment aspects, however you need an editor! Watch when copy/pasting to the site as you placed entire sections of the story line on here more than one. Look forward to reading more of the storyline. :-)
did you even proof this yourself before sending it to a second person for editing prior to publication?
You cut and paste an entire section, thus repeating it verbatim. Please do yourself a favor and proofread carefully. then, have a different person read it, correct any mistakes, and THEN publich it.
I am not sure what happened in the end cause I quit reading it when the story started to repeat itself. So I lost interest and came straight here to comment without reading the rest of the story!
Like everyone has commented.
Your story line was really, good. I was lost at the repeated lines of "He leads me towards the spanking horse. Taking my hand, he pulls me over it. My skirt rises, revealing my maroon gym knickers. Each leg of the horse is fitted with a leather cuff. Sir binds me tightly by the wrists and ankles."
it was repeated 2X. Proof read your story, if you don't have some one to edit your work, try to make sure there are no repeats. When your talking about a situation where the girl is a submissive and her husband is her Dominant, please keep in mind there are Dominants who read this too. When you use the title (sir) instead of sir being, sir put a capital over it when talking about her Dominant. like this. (Sir please no, don't punish me servery) makes sense. Other Dominants put a title over the other Dominants title as they are a equal to each other, a submissive will capitalize the title as they are Owned.
You had a great start to the story, keep up the good work. :)
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