All Comments on 'A Special Photo'

After reading only three of your stories, you've suddenly become my fave author on here.

This was the first of your stories I've read, and I found it compelling and quite in keeping with the category you chose in which to place it -- Romance. The character of Holly Hightower was quite well developed and believable, as were the sections developing their romance. All in all it was easy to read and maintained my interest throughout.

As for constructive comments, with a mind only to possible improvements to an already effective story --

It strikes me that Logan is kept more a cipher than might be ideal. I was very curious to know the plausible details of his "security" work. Is he a merc? CIA? Something else? Specifics always beat generalities, and if this is fiction, there's no reason you shouldn't be able to write about what he does in more specific terms, at least to whatever degree is needed to make us "buy" his backstory, and believable reasons why he would not be allowed to carry pictures of Holly with him. Clearly, for that part of the suspense to work, a conceit of this sort is needed. But it needs to be fully earned, and I felt just a wee bit suspicious here that "security" was a smokescreen for not working through the details.

While I appreciate the averted gaze (given you are looking to write this as romance), I would tend to look at a wider range of romance novels for my models.

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But after that, I don't remember much. All I have is a blurred image of two bodies meshing into one, generating a passion, an ecstasy so intense all sense of time and place was lost until everything seemed to fuse into a new emotion, one that for me at least, felt a lot like love. So while it's a blurry memory, it's a great one.

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I liked this passage, but liked even more the passages that preceeded it. In re-reading this part especially, I tried to put my finger on why I felt like I hit a little speed bump of sorts. The best guess I can offer is the focus on the memory being inspecific. Perhaps, if you were to focus more on the blurring sensation, which is marvelously described, by the way, it wouldn't undercut your own storytelling -- though this is clearly your judgement call to make -- I could as well argue that it is Logan's own akwardness, when it comes to describing his own feelings, that is being shown here, and if that's the aim, then it's been achieved.

Sorry to go on so, and please understand that I feel the story is very strong, all in all, or I probably wouldn't have bothered to comment on it. Take my comments for whatever they may be worth to you.

This is a good story but, it just really begs and pleads for a follow up.