- All
Comments (1) - Add a
Comment - Send
Feedback Send private anonymous feedback to the author (click here to post a public comment instead).
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
English
Good but
You have some editing issues, I don't know if you were in a rush but stuff like " "Come here Sean, I will take care of that for you. Sean, start taking pictures. This time, it is only me and him." She then put his cock in her mouth." Is unclear. Is Sean getting his dick sucked or is the friend? Is sean taking pictures or did you want the friend to be? Also "The farmer who owns the barn told my dad that I he would make a room in the barn if I wanted." Is that I supposed to be there, is that left over from a previous revision?
It is a good story with potential but the language needs to be cleaned up a little. Keep writing, I look forward to more.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Friend's GF on the Farm or
More submissions by dirtymann.