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Not as bad as all that
I think your first commenter is overstating the case. Yes, there are one or two careless errors like "bottom nose" and "train reck", but we see much worse on this website every week. Don't be put off.
Need an editor
You need to learn to proof read or enlist an editor, so many errors I quite reading after 2 paragraphs
HOT HOT HOT
Can't wait for a continuation :)
PROOFREADING IS A MUST!!!
Please take the time to proofread your future installments. Hell write your story in Microsoft Word and it will help you as you write...but honestly, until you learn to do so, please have a friend proofread your material prior to submitting ANY more stories.
what grammar?
I didn't even notice the spelling or grammar mistakes, too engulfed in the story I guess. :D
Great story, I hope more are incoming!
Great story fuck the bad criticism
You all piss me off saying proof read and shit say something nice why do u all have to criticize this was a damn good story and he should continue writing and to all of u hatters that point out ever damn detail fuck u.
Grammar grammar grammar
Great story, awful spelling. :(
Grammar please!
Great story but please get an editor for grammar next time!
Was left wanting more
Which is always a good thing!
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