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English
This isn't my thing ...
... but thank you for the heads-up about the contents of the story. What a help it would be if more authors did likewise.
This needs to be longer
A LOT longer. There's a lot of potential here... well written and thought out. I hope you'll consider doing a chapter 2 (and 3, 4, 5.....)
Editor and short
You could use an editor for your writing, words such as gravities are incorrect here and instead you should have used "gravity's".
The story was short and has potential but some glaring inconsistencies occur. Is she a friend who is a girl or a girl friend? If they were together than it is likely that they would have already done a 69. If they were just friends make that more clear.
Exceptional
Well written and sexy, though it could use a little more detail.
more
Good job a little more detail would be nice and at least 2 more chapters
5/5
Quite good. looking forward to new chapters.
More plz!!!
Not to many stories like this. We need more like this one. Thanks for writing it hope to see more.
Best Story Ever
That was Amazing dude, we need more!!!!
Please
=)
that was a lot of fun I cant wait to read some more.
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