Deal!

This story was very poorly written. Jumps all over the place and really has no story line. author needs major work!!! wouldn't recommend this for anyone to read.

Good start to what seems like a good series keep em coming ty

It's got potential...

Jumps around a little to much, and it's definitely a bit to short. The main character keeps saying she doesn't want to explain certain details, but it would be nice if she did explain certain things. Sex scene could be a little more detailed too. It seems interesting, and with a little work I think it could be pretty decent.

Potential...

Your story line is intriguing and erotic, but as other commenters have suggested, the grammar needs help and the plot needs smoothing. Read it aloud to yourself and that should help you find the issues.