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Click hereI see you shine
against the moon's light
my angel of passion
my delight
in my mind
on a cold winters night
opposite the bridge
just within sight
I cherish the moments
of pleasures you dew
an enchanting encounter
our souls do brew
sensually standing there like you do
and I know the bridge is there too
neither of us cross it any more
it use to be a revolving door
ties that keep us
in gentle touch
like two tigers in a cage
this bridge that keeps us
far far away
the steps would be only a few
to ... body's clashing
in midnight hue
to cross the line of tempting touch
to give and gain so very much
no torches touch
this arc across souls
once together
tears that glow
over there you are
across a bridge to far
I agree with puck. You have some real talent here, see what happens if you break out of the rhyme scheme, you don't even have to show anyone, just see how it feels :)
stick around, I am just now reading your stuff.
I was upset with the total ranking, so gave this a "5". It deserves high marks!
that you continue to write and improve. At this point you seem mired down in the rhyme-or-bust mode. Try different words, perhaps longer lines, throw away that rhyming dictionary and set yourself free from what you think people want, or what they expect to see, then you will be a true poet. Good luck!