- Erotic Poetry
- Accidental Vision
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Click hereWalking past the bathroom door
I am stopped, stunned for you have left it ajar
A charge of excitement races through me
I watch in trepidation, transfixed by you
Hot water cascading over your soft supple flesh
The dappled drops of water pooling at your feet
You lean back and groan deep in your throat
The water penetrates your tired aching muscles
Soaking wet, the water dripping from your body
your hands slide up and cup the water in appreciation
Relaxing, you close your eyes letting your mind drift away
You begin to wash your taught pale skin
The slippery soap lathers up, the scent of vanilla fills the air
The steam caresses you like a soulful lover
The mist created, masks your body
You appear like an apparition in my dreams
Dreams of desire
Desires for the forbidden
Desires of the flesh
Desires that can't be sated
I groan in physical pain at your beauty
At the strength of my desire
As I watch the shower have its merry way with you
- COMMENTS
Tsothaalmost 10 years agoI really liked the last seven lines, and I was thinking that this poem would be a great choice for the reduction thread. It just feels to me like you could be left with a much more polished and stronger core simply by trimming words away.
Cinnerover 10 years agoI'm with Erectus123. I saw the issues, but loved the poem nevertheless.
I'll be reading more of your stuff...
A 5 from me.
Ashesh9almost 11 years agoIt's called Sexual Harassment & inappropriate behaviour by the US Army but your poem is actually a very aesthetic paen to nude showers & i am wildly & inappropriately cheerin' in favour of your behaviour / writing !!??!!
todski28almost 11 years agoAuthorcheers for picking up the typo :-/ I guess skin can be taught.....
The word penetrates was supposed to be a reflection of the viewers thought process, I was attempting to link what the water was doing to what the viewer wanted to do. Obviously I was a little to ambiguous
Thank you for the feed back.
better fix that typo!
