- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Ace of Clubs
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Click hereThe fireworks in July over a lake aptly named.
You kicked me away I kept floating back through
the crossroads and the key card office.
We shared secret smiles. Maybe you thought
you were the only one. Maybe you wanted to hurt
me. The fourteenth day in July reminds me of a night now far back in memory when your scent drove me mad and I knelt down before you and paid my respects to your heritage needs crimes and your religion. You called my work plastic but you believe you are in control I know something else has the wheel on this one. The die has been cast. Everything in flux. Here comes the harbinger of change.
'like sturring dat gumbo, baby. 'ventually settles.'
- COMMENTS
susansnowalmost 10 years agoAuthorelements of the erotic. A little burst of fire. thanks for the comments.
todski28almost 10 years agoTo understand the way you write a little more with each reading, it is odd at times I am left so confused I may have read the cereal box in Swahili translation with a German accent, but lately I have been picking up you'd jive.
If cleardaynow and trix hadn't been commenting I probably never would. The way you mash and twist imagery in phrasal rhythm is very interesting, I enjoyed this, but to me it had more erotic overtones than not, or I'm just dirty minded and misinterpreting :-p
Cleardaynowalmost 10 years agoThis one I like a lot.
What is there to say. The images come and sandbag me. They string together in a pleasantly mad way. Further there does appear an weighty, overarching shape and direction to the poem. Very, very good – in my book anyway.
One quibble. I would have preferred commas after ‘heritage’ (?) and ‘needs’ in the eighth line. It wasn’t until I came back to the poem that I made (semantic) sense of that line. They would have helped me.
