- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Bambi's Tears
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Click hereRolling rubber
and Country Road
rollercoaster
thru thicket
and wilderness
with new beginnings
at every bend.
Pointing fingers
smiling eyes
and throttle release.
Jerking head glances
natures majestic beauty
oh so deer.
Long perked ears
and poka-dots
attentive and cautious
as the car stops
fawn motionless
still as wood
camouflaged
till white tail
like a flag
waves.
Sqeaking door
curiously
with helpfull intent
for youth
energeticly not
feet carry closer
leather boots
to an alert ear's
caution.
Watery eyes
sniffling nose
of a fawn
slightly spooked
but glued
next to it's mother
that was down
forever
down a country road.
- COMMENTS
duddle146about 17 years agoA beautiful poignant rendering that rushes along to a sad conclusion. Beautifully written.
LeBrozover 17 years agoA really good one with a powerful image of a fawn staying by the side of its dead mother; minor typos need fixing but mostly I agree with other comments about changing the title.
Annoraover 19 years agoYour words painted a beautiful picture for the words you so greatly use.
Thank you
hippiedudeover 19 years agoI've lived in a place where there were tons of deer and this really does happen a lot. I have to say that I almost didn't read this because of the title. So, I agree with who ever suggested that you might want to re name this.
LilDarlinover 19 years agoI live close to the Smokey Mountains.. have all my life.. I can see this as clear as a picture window..Beautiful, Artful.. Keep'm coming.. Loved this one.. I agree with the needs a new title..Artful poem like this, no Bambi here..Is still a great poem~~!!!!!
WickedEveover 19 years agoYou wrote a GOOD poem with a BAD title. The title sounds sappy. Yes, I'm picking at your title and it's because you wrote a good poem, so give it a good title. :)
WickedEveover 19 years agoyou really can write poetry. This really has some good stanzas at the beginning but near the end, it needs a little work. Still, this is good.
