Can you understand

Endless nights, sleepless days
time slows down as I want to fade away

End this nighmare titled my life
it seems like Im floating away

come with me back in time
and you would see a different guy

Ive changed so much it makes me sad
Ive lost everything I ever had

I dont want to be and I refuse to see
anything in this life that could make me happy

the way I act, the way I feel
nothing about me is real

I hurt anyone Im around
and the ones who can help me are layed to rest

I need there guidance to show me how to be
2 years passed and Im nothing like my formal self

I fake everything nothing about me is real
who you know does not exist

nothing is as it seems
in this world of mine, all of illusions and dreams

do you want to understand how I think
just the thought of it could drive you insane

I look at myself from different views to understand myself
or at least try

do you know what I see
nothing

I see nothing
I see no feelings
no expressions
no emotions

only cause I hide them
I hide them fom myself and from the loved ones around me

they try to help, but nothing does
I dont want them to

I want to deal with this on my own
only if I do and if I can, will anybody better understand