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Click herea heart with a hundred hooks
embedded in bleeding flesh
like mullet sliced and used as bait
that heart attracts the fishermen
a hundred, a thousand, more
that heart riddled with rusted hooks
thrown back again and again
bait for a fisherman, bored
is to change the bait or choose another species, TK U MLJ LV NV
like a stick of dynamite attached to a hook, once reeled in , it goes with a bang
sad, such moving words
love ya
I like to fish... but couldn't catch the meaning of your cast. (~_~) but I did flash back to when I was a boy and caught mullet to sell to the bait shops ... 10 mullet for 50 cents <grin...(however... ribbon fish were 10 for a dollar) have a good day!
Read it a few times and I'm leaning along with Eve's idea about the second instance of "that heart." Maybe even "a heart," although that's stretching it a bit.
Wow. You used "heart" several times in one poem and it still read fairly well--at least for me. :) Really interesting idea you had for this one. Not sure about "that heart" twice. Maybe drop the second heart or use "the heart." Nothing major to pick at in this poem--just some suggestions for you to play with.