W C Fields and Charlie McCarthy,
Had a real little feud going on.
Because W C didn't like kiddies,
He'd smirk at Charlie and call him "Son."
And Charlie the "Dummy" sang his song!
"It was Mister Fields I think,
Who has to have him a "drink."
And when he does he gets unstable,
And sleeps it off under a table!"
Needless to say this made Mister Fields turn red,
It made W C really mad!
"You're nothing but a woodpecker's pin-up son,"
He never did like a smart mouthed lad!
And Charlie grinned, and sang "You're a bum!"
"I know a real old feller,
Who used to be a "Heller,"
Til the "booze" made him real unstable,
And he wakes up under a table!"
W C Fields was speechless and angry,
And he got really red in his face.
"You're Daddy was a table you little shit!"
He thought Charlie's sass was a disgrace.
Charlie laughed "Then you slept under it!"
"I know an old red-faced Fart,
He drinks til he falls apart.
He'll keep drinking til he's unable,
And then pass out under the table!
Charlie won!!
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