Enjoy it, I do.

I know it is hard, but it'll get easier to do,
Enjoy it, I do.
And, I promise, it'll get harder still.
Now take it in one hand, don't be shy or feel ill,
Or take it in two.

Grasp it cleanly, with a little squeeze,
Up and down usually does it, but feel free to tease.
Soon you will find, a steady rhythm.
Use fingers as well, forgetting not, your thumb with 'em.
Practice comes perfect, a pleasure to please.

Rub hard, now and again,
Top to bottom too, you'll get to the vein.
Variety in strokes is the secret here, forgetting not, sideways too.
Polish it firm, add in that drip of dew.
Use a little spit, do, it can take the strain.

Take care at the end, once polish is in,
The head needs some care, it's not made of tin.
Sensitive work now, use elbow a-plenty,
It'll cum to a shine, in a countdown to twenty!.
Letting it down, very gently.

+ + + +

I know it's soft, makes it easy to do,
Enjoy it, I do.
And, I promise, it'll be grand.
Use one finger, with the palm of your hand.
Gently now, you will soon aim true.

One finger or two, run 'em gently through
The creases and folds, play a drum-beat tattoo.
Soon you will find a steady rhythm
Will very very nicely do, forgetting not, your thumb with 'em.
Ease them around, use a little spit do.

The button within, needs especial care,
Spin fingers around it'll soon come bare.
One finger can linger , and with a curl
Reach secrets beyond, where lips can unfurl
An entrance to seek, you shall soon be there, with care.

Take care at the end, all wet and sublime.
Use pressure a-steady, and into a slow climb
Crushing crescendo; and gushing of cream
It'll cum to a gleam, with a tremendous scream.
Relaxing, then into a dream.