- Non-Erotic Poetry
- God's pissed
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This was no ordinary rain
This was God after an all night bender
pissed, paralytic
sending his urine down
until spent
overflowing rivers
inundating lives
leaving the stench of his binge
on the banks, reeking
wrecking years of effort
by those whose only mistake
was trusting in the mercy
of some unseen deity
whose methods are
somewhat suspect
and motives are beyond
human understanding
- COMMENTS
LeBrozalmost 16 years agoThis poem was selected from Lit's archive of over 40,000 poems for inclusion in today's Archival Review.<br>
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jd4georgeover 19 years agoThe title is too blatant for me, though the double-entendre is fun. How about something out of your first verse... such as "No Ordinary Rain"?
tarablackwood22over 19 years ago...are a lot of powerful thoughts here....I think it needs a different title to do it justice, and a bit of editing. The puctuation is inconsistent. This can be reworked into a better poem, I think, that addresses all these points and also those below. The thoughts are terrific.
Esteban03over 19 years ago....man's greed and the crass stupidity of politicians in sacrificing the planet to oil based economics, have much more to do with wholesale pollution and the eradication of natural resources.
I'd love to see you aim your great ability at the right targets - there's not much time left!
Anonymousover 19 years agoa little black book I write poems in, got a bag, got a toothbrush and a comb in, when I'm a good dog they sometimes throw me a bone... ( PF) ;)
yeah, if God could create words like that, he/she certainly could be pissing down on us laughing and enjoying the whole thing !!
Anonymousover 19 years agoAnge is right. Unless I am doing the pissing. Look out, Ant People, who foolishly built their colony so near my favorite fishing creek!
Clever poem, TT2U
Tathagataover 19 years agoI love the " god on a bender" and those last lines are perfect
Thank you
Angelineover 19 years agoand I do love the way you write, but I must admit that the idea of divine piss raining down makes me wanna say ewwww. I know you said urine, but maybe the metaphor could be a bit more removed--I'm not sure the way it clashes with the delicate strength of the rest of the poem is worth the wordplay off the title. Just my opinion, sweety. xo, Ange
