- Non-Erotic Poetry
- going to the strip bar
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a couple friends
are coming from out of town;
I owe one of them
a favor and he's keen on it:
"They give naked lap dances!"
as opposed to the bar in his city
I used to be keen on it;
I've given a lot of three-dollar tips
and spent hundreds for a night
and a hangover
But tonight I'll drink Sprite
and I'll spend my whole twenty-five.
I don't think much about sex lately
and I'm glad.
It's served its purpose;
I'll have two sons in two weeks
with two different women.
I'd go through that cycle
again if it were convenient
but that has nothing to do
with tonight.
I'm not the kind of guy
strippers tend to go home with,
and that doesn't trouble me
much at all.
maybe I'll buy a girl a drink
or maybe I'll practice the zen
of one dollar per show,
secure in my big spender friends
at least I won't wake up
tommorow
with an empty wallet
and the bends
- COMMENTS
WillowedCabinalmost 13 years agoI think this is bad. You are telling too much and not really showing here. Also, this doesn't groove--and this thing should definitely have rhythm. I think the topic is rich and full of color and this was akin to ordering a pizza. Maybe try to hone down to what you actually are creating here: "the zen image of the frugal man at a strip bar" Grasp that and run with it.
