- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Haiku for Rain
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Click hereRain has fallen for hours.
Tons of water press the land.
Heavy, the heavens.
- COMMENTS
Senna Jawaabout 16 years agoYou could get about the same effect or perhaps more (plus a smile) in fewer words:
tones of rain
heavens
Best regards,
foehn2over 16 years agoAuthorI wondered if anyone would notice. I'm not a scholar of haiku (and I don't speak or write Japanese). I believe jstherra is the resident Literotica haiku guru. English and the haiku form may actually be mutually exclusive, but English likes to be borg-like, trying everything, assimilating mercilessly. In many modern haiku journals, the 5-7-5 syllabic structure has been virtually abandoned in deference to other concerns of a short form. Keiko Imaoka wrote a very interesting article some years ago, "Forms in English Haiku". Thank you for your keen eye and your comment!
Anonymousover 16 years agoI do not know much about poetry, other than I enjoy it..but in traditional Haiku...isn't it supposed to be 5,7,5? You have here 6,7,5..Am I wrong? Either way..I really enjoyed it..thank you!
