hell...

this is so ridiculous
this mess
i don't want this shit
even partially addressed

i'd very much rather run away
into a hole where i can stay
instead of a constant drive
filling the need to feel alive

my love is expendable
not sacred nor dependable
no value shared for burdens borne
only fear, denial and scorn

if i didn't hold myself so highly
i might have a chance at being happy
pedestal torn down at every broken turn
rebuild my structure only to have it burn

everything i want gets farther away
the more i push, the closer it stays
opposites grow together
around the edge, never near
there is no rationality here
for all is reaction
to a perceived fate
our entire being
we choose to make
i want nothing
but i only take
if i try anything
i'm not being fake

the issue here is kindness and trust
how do i show when they only see lust
i suppose i'd have some idea of what to be
if they'd see my tears and take care of me

but no, it's easy to deny when you're dead inside
inherent social worth, not earned, no work
from birth you are given a world made of lies
beauty does fade, stricken poor, death lurks

this life here, gets me mad
for pretty girls make me sad