- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Holy Place
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Click hereIn a pit behind the church
Beyond the cracked blacktop
In the middle of the pine
Sits a patch of black sand
Nothing grows there
A few trees struggle
Stunted, they die slowly
Red needles hang on skeletons
Into the dry, dark earth
Someone traced a large bird
Wings outstretched
Never to fly
Each rain it fades a little more
I sit at one of the talons
Watching the cars go by
Nobody sees us
They just throw garbage
Out their windows
- COMMENTS
fawniealmost 20 years agoit was a lovely poem. i too am learning how to chop out unnecessary words, sometimes i find it hard to do and still make it flow nice. i'm learning! keep writing, you do have much to say, this one sure speaks volumes.
tarablackwood22almost 20 years ago...this poet is showing all the earmarks of true growth. Tighter phrasing, sharper image, control of sentimentality. A far cry from the same poet's work not so long ago.
twelveoonealmost 20 years agoI like this poet, he continues to show growth, although most of the lines could be improved on, he sets a complex tone and carries it off. Best line:
Red needles hang on skeletons
I fear that he may be handicapping himself with title choice,
this one is perfect here, but...
As an example, anyone reading this should read his so-called:
Stupid Sonnet, which if you get beyond the title is well worth it.
