- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Interaction, storm and pine
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Click hereFor months there was shade
then lightning struck the pine
outside our bedroom window.
Since the storm
it has existed, exposing
scars branded onto its body.
Yesterday the tree was felled
by men with chainsaws and heavy boots.
The sparkleberry also fell; victim
to logistics in the felling of the pine
and the shade was sucked screaming
into the steamy ground.
- COMMENTS
Tsothaalmost 10 years agoFor me it all hinges on the last two lines, and what powerful image you conjure there. A shade sucked screaming? It's the last thing to go, long after the pieces of plant-body are taken away: the memory of a shade on your window. Screaming, because it's missed. It's the specter of a tree, of something that was once there.
"Sucked" into steamy ground, the ground now heats. The shadow dissolving into it, remaining a moment longer than the tree. Makes me think of an horror movie. Not sure why.
Anonymousabout 13 years agoBut I can’t help myself.
At the risk of being tarred and feathered and rode out of town… I couldn’t keep this poem from reminding me of ‘killing two birds with one stone’… or of ‘’lightning striking twice’ (directly, then indirectly).
And then the loss of both trees must certainly be enough to cause one to ‘Pine’ for both of them.
Sorry, too many metaphors in my coffee this morning, I suppose…
But, one heck of a poem. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Jes_da_man
Esperanza_Hidalgoabout 13 years agoI hate nature's destruction of nature--and man's ruddy interference. Okay, but the poem--just the right amount of words to convey meaning. Reads great to my espie ears.
vrosej10about 13 years agoWow. I would not change a thing! I wrote a poem with a similar theme a while back called Requiem for the Green (before I was a better poet). This got me in the guts. Getting a recommend. Wish I could give it six!
Paashaabout 13 years agoI enjoy all things nature though I have a special kinship with trees. The fall of the tree and the good shade it provided is really a loss. Que sera, sera even with the Mother. Well done.
Deja_twoabout 13 years agoI can't match in quality but it brings back memories of a big old oak that stood in a field opposite my house. Whether the following words be poetry or just an outburst of my emotional ramblings I dare not say...........................................................
I’m touched far too often when I read of fallen trees
For memory of a dear old oak that was severed at the knees
I watched that brutal carnage on a sad September day
As they ripped my dear oak apart and tossed its life away
I think my oak saw Trafalgar, but I don’t know that for sure.
Could he have been the planks of wood washed up on a distant shore
I makes me feel patriotic as life echo’s famous words of then
“Heart of Oak are our ships and more so are our men.”
Best wishes
twelveooneabout 13 years agoagree with others, as said in other comment, you are a powerful writer
100!
UnderYourSpellabout 13 years agoI also hate the felling of trees and hid when some of ours had to come down, can hear the poor trees screaming in this
