My Little Friend or Ode To My Dildo

MY LITTLE FRIEND
(Or Ode To A Dildo)

You said that you'd come over
And give me what I need
But I don't think you have a clue
Of what's really eating me

You said the lack of sex
Is why Ive been so hateful
And promised you'd come and "fix me"
As soon as you are able

But what you fail to realize
In spite of what you've said
I have all the man I'll ever need
In the drawer beside my bed.

It doesn't like to argue
And has no ego at all
It's only purpose is to please
And is always at my beck and call

It has never lied to me
Or offered any fake ass apologies
It is faithful only to me
Except when I run out of batteries.