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Click hereOpen your eyes and join the world of humanity
All you need do is sacrifice your sanity
Prepare yourself for a land of light and illusion
Where personal identity is lost in a mass of confusion
A lost soul like myself will be your guard and guide
And take you to a hovel where you will reside
You won't have a name or even a number
Because after a day here, you wouldn't remember
Do what you like, there aren't any rules
We don't have governments, churches or schools
You will fight for your food on a daily basis
You are now in a desert without an oasis
It once was foretold that all rulers would fall
But instead, they just went away and doomed us all
In their big ships of light, far out into space
Without a word, disappearing without a trace
Leaving the bastards and bandits, the old and infirm
Gone to find brighter skies, never to return
The meek have inherited a world of dust, dirt and smoke
And we are the punchline to God's greatest joke.
I'm not qualified to critique anything so this is only my humble opinion, but it seems to contain a trace of anger and bitterness. I agree also that is is raw and edgy. I loved it...
This is an interesting poem. There is some good imagery here esp in the last line. The language is strong and punchy and reinforces the raw and edgy feel of the poem.
A good effort!