Now and Then

I sit by liquid silver in the sunlight,
Thinking of all I have written before,
Knowing now that back then,
I was trying to find who was talking,
Who wanted to die to move on,
Who needed to be loved.

Listening to sounds that aren't mine,
I found that to be me,
I needed to listen to myself,
To let go of the things that were killing me,
I needed to love myself.

I can soar into wide open space,
I can go deeper than the oceans,
I exist with everything that is here
I feel the energy when I can
Finally feeling whole more often

I look back and answer my own questions
I could have been there for myself
Not let all the pain overtake me
Realized I could have loved myself
Seen what other people were seeing in me

I am not complete yet,
Still working things out slowly
But I've gone further that I ever imagined
Surprised by my strength
I am alive today, and another hope
To be there for myself later on again.