Omerta

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18 words
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Put the radio on—anything
to shut up the silence, anneal it,
squench it’s essence,
eradicate it’s soundlessness.

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  • COMMENTS
11 Comments
buttersbuttersover 13 years ago
i had to look up the meaning of your title

thankyou! it works so very very well.

to not speak of things that, if spoken about, will bring more pain to the arena is a sort of code of honour - but bearing that weight hurts too, and the silence created weighs heavy...

'anneal' absolutely works for me here, friday, as i am reading with the connotations of it being a process that changes the structure of a thing, relieves tensions, makes something stronger, more able to bear pressure...

squench is brilliant, imo - it sounds wet yet tightly restricted at the same time, a careful, contained extinguishing.... makes me think of a heart, too, being gripped tight.

yeah, the "it's" thing... you're so gonna have to bow on this one, dude ;)

vrosej10vrosej10over 13 years ago
Nice and brief

Which I love. I see it as a howl of existential anxiety, the fear that somehow we'll be sucked into the silence and dissappear, but that is probably just me.

Senna JawaSenna Jawaover 13 years ago
Yes, it is

Yes, I feel that it is a complete poem. I've written earlier "barely" by inertia perhaps. And, in the short version, ending on the word "silence", I like this poem.

Senna JawaSenna Jawaover 13 years ago
But with the title...

I must confess that I didn't take into account the title of the poem in my previous comment. Together with the title I'd say that indeed, it is a whole poem--just barely. I would remove the "cosmetic" part though. It doesn't add anything essential, while so many extra words are tiring. The shorter version would be much stronger, much better. Especially, that this poem is about the silence.

Senna JawaSenna Jawaover 13 years ago
An element

Occasionally, 3-4 words may form a complete poem. Here the 4 lines don't. The whole poem is contained in its initial part:

"Put the radio on—anything

to shut up the silence"

The rest is cosmetic. We've got a poetic phrase, but not a whole poem.

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