Porno Flix

Ya ever notice in porno flicks,
(ya know, the kind where guys screw chicks?)
they resort to all kinds of camera tricks
to keep ya from seein the guys’ dicks?

Now, I’m not talkin’ ‘bout the REAL GOOD kind,
The ones that really blow yer mind,
Where the camera gets close as it can find
The room to watch him fuck her blind

But the ones you see on cable TV
And most of the ones on PPV
And even the satellite shows ya see
Won’t show ya penetration… gee!

This is a most amazing feat!
And that’s not all, this can’t be beat,
To keep it even more discreet,
They don’t show the soles of women’s feet!

It seems that when the “Powers That Be”
Got together to censor the shows on TV
And the movies that we in the theaters see
They set up the guidelines for “Modesty”

“It’ll be fine to show women’s tits,
and full spread pussies we’ll tolerate in bits.
All manner of flesh can be shown in these skits,
Except for two things, which will throw us in fits:

“NEVER show a man’s dick when it’s hard,
if you do, we’ll tear up your membership card
and throw you out of the studio yard!
You’ll WISH that you’d just been feathered and tarred!

“There’s one other thing you can never reveal,
Complain all you want, but here’s how we feel-
In order to keep it from looking too real,
the bottoms of all the girl’s feet you’ll conceal!

“It’s fine if you show a couple that’s fucking,
a girl’s head up and down on a dick ducking,
just don’t let us see the cock that she’s sucking,
Or the soles of her feet while she’s riding and bucking!

“These things, you see, we consider profane
Do not try to argue, your words are in vain
If you show these items during our reign
A rating of “X” will be your pain!”

And so that is why, if these movies you choose
And waste both your time and money to use,
You’ll never see cock go in pussy to snooze,
Or bare women’s feet outside of their shoes.

If you really want to see some great sex
Where hard-ons in pussies provide good effects
And bare women’s feet aren’t treated as vexed,
Then you’d best pick a movie with rating of “X”!