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Slipping into the arms of sleep
A delicious refuge
Her welcome limbs strong elixir
Encouraging unfettered dreams into flight.
Roaming where they will
With childlike abandon
Sometimes planting a seed of remembrance
But more often than not
Just a random, fading snapshot.
Impatient to begin
He is watching
The intruder
Insinuating his presence at last.
Escape moves beyond reach
Within the Sun’s glaring reminder
Here and now beckon
Banishing dreams back to the ether.
She’s up there waiting
Readying her magic for another embrace
Elusive Luna
Teasing yet again
Making full use of her grains of time.
Seemed okay on a first reading, but my mind was on other things. I came back, and gave another look, and started to appreciate how deep it actually was. It made me think, and if a poem can do that, for me it rates high. I'll look forward to enjoying some more reads on your posting.
Thanks
Lovely.
The words paint an picture.
Reminds me of a certain painting.
"Sleepless Ramble" made me come back to read this. I don't know how I missed it the first time!
I enjoyed many of your lines,
My favorite sentence is:
"Here and now beckon
Banishing dreams back to the ether."
It would help to get rid of some of those passive "ing" endings.
Try something like this:
Slip into the arms of sleep
A delicious refuge
Her welcome limbs strong elixir
Encourage unfettered dreams into flight.
Roam where they will
With childlike abandon
Sometimes planting a seed of remembrance
But more often than not
Just a random, faded snapshot.
got style.. I enjoyed this piece, especially the last stanza. Wrapped it up nicely.
Readying her magic for another embrace
Elusive Luna
Teasing yet again
Making full use of her grains of time.
tis the ways of a muse....chasing shadows that lurk within the curtains of our mind...very magical...thanks~~~bluerain~~~
like this on so many levels.
the intruder could be daylight, reality, or a person
and dreams as " faded snapshots" is a great phrase
: )
all in all a very sensual poem about sleep and escape and dreams
Thank you