- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Repose
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Click hereIn spent fields the ravens glean;
we walk and the black waves pull apart.
"The sunset is coming soon,
what I had I gave to you"
I softly laugh.
"And when the stars come out?"
she laughs,
softer still.
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A dream!
And when the stars go out
ravens feed
on sallow flesh
hung on hollow bones
savour the eyes for last.
- COMMENTS
twelveooneover 10 years agoAuthornever bothered to listen to either, and after wasting my time with the Longfellow thing, I just don't feel like bothering here
Anonymousover 10 years agoAnd when the stars come out at night
I dream of holding' you tight/ Kenny Chesney
Fate deals a hand that we all must play. And when the stars go out. The skies have turned to gray. I'm gonna walk on out/The Damned
Tathagataover 16 years agoabout the two " soft" words in the first verse unless, of course, I'm missing something.
"softly laugh / softer still" sounds too " Hallmark" for you.
Second part paints some great images, wide open for interpretation.
For some reason I see a battle field.
Nice work
wildsweetoneover 16 years agostrong images! not only the words touch my soul today, but i am also intrigued by those two lines. sunset, flat-line, death, resting - brilliant connotations weaving and leading to the end.
it's so desperately sad. there is hope in the stars, and then they too go out and all that will be left, are blind bones.
your poetry calls to the poet in me. thank you for sharing your skill, and thank you for making me think twelveoone.
Maria2394over 16 years agoand knowing you, I always look for the "code". The hidden meaning. Thank you for exercising my brain :)
I would assume saving the eyes for last is symbolic. Of course it is, they had to have seen it coming.
hugs
m#
Anonymousover 16 years agoLike the concise language and imagery. Works well. Mentioned in today's new poem reviews.
