Rudolph The Queer Reindeer

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A very dark parody of Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer

Rudolph the queer reindeer had a very naughty secret
Hidden deep inside of his closet
And if you ever ask him to confirm or deny it he would always hang his head in shame and whisper this simple answer


Don't ask
Don't tell
About my time in jail
With my cellmate Mr. Big Jello who greeted me with a very different kind of hello
One that never shall I forget
So sorry but that's my story and like grape jelly on toast I'm sticking to it


All of the other reindeer laugh and help to spread the rumors
They never leave poor Rudolph alone
Always accusing and finger pointing
Rudolph the queer reindeer come on, come on
Come on and out and admit
How much you love to play certain strange reindeer games


Then one horny Christmas Eve
Rudolph could take no more
So he went to Santa to say
"Mr. Claus with your ..........so big won't you guide my sleigh tonight?"


Then how everything changed all around the world as the wedding plans were made
All of the villiage people around the world shouted with an unrestrained glee
"How proud you have made us today!"
"Rudolph the queer reindeer you'll go down in history!"


2007 Ramona Thompson

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3 Comments
twelveoonetwelveooneover 16 years ago
*

I don't know how orginal this is, but I did like the village people touch. It did lag in spots. And strangely enough it didn't seem anti-gay.

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
this has been done before

its a holiday parody of the song and its calle Rudolph the Deep Throt Reindeer

champagne1982champagne1982over 16 years ago
pale

This nonsense isn't humourous or an accurate exaggeration of the original work. It doesn't matter that you wrap it in parody paper and label it "dark", it's just not very good poetry or lyric and is undeserving of favourable attention.

I rated it between 00 and 25 degrees on the thermometer because your subject leaves me cold, your rhythm is off and your rhyme scheme doesn't follow the original song that you're ripping off.

Sorry rt, this one's a 00 on my scale.

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