Santa's New Sex Life!byUncle Pervey©
Old Saint Nick had a horrible prick,
It was twisted and ugly and big!
When it got hard it had a weird shape,
It was curly and looked like a pigs!
It's the main reason why the Claus's,
Never had even one small Claus chick.
The first time Saint Nick exposed himself,
Mrs. Claus screamed when she saw his prick!
Old Santa felt horny without sex,
Because Mrs. Claus was such a prig.
He grew so frustrated and crazy,
That he fell in love with a fat pig!
Santa's love Princess was named Myrtle,
And her figure was somewhat porcine.
Santa didn't care what she looked like,
He just mounted her from behind!
Then one day Santa met Juliette,
A French Elfess from over the sea.
When Juliette saw Santa's pecker,
She cried out "Wee wee, that's for me!"
Now Santa has a loving mistress,
And he never more pesters his wife.
Poor Myrtle's become chops and smoked ham,
And Santa has a brand new sex life!!