- Non-Erotic Poetry
- She Came
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Click hereThe night she came into my life
The cold hard mist was driven;
Pierced the naked skin
Like an endless maelstrom of daggers.
She glided to my door that night
As her shadow danced from wall to wall.
Wrapped tightly in her fur coat,
Stared me down with eyes unblinking.
Came in my place to check things out,
The mark of a true professional;
For she'd not be seen in squalor,
So I'd wait to see her verdict.
She seemed well pleased at the bookshelves,
No dust, well read;
The kitchen seemed adequate,
No pile in the sink;
The bath and bedroom she gave a cursory look
As if she'd seen enough.
Satisfied with my domestic skills,
She headed out the door once more.
And there she stayed for months on end
Where I kept her fed, until one day
My little stray guard cat was no more;
For she'd decided to move on.
© Leon Brozyna 2005
- COMMENTS
KillerRomanceover 15 years agoLOL. I really thought it was a love poem or something :P No worries, I liked the idea of cat-love anyway! Lillian, KR.
JaneAustenalmost 16 years agoYou lured your reader in purrfectly! Loved the surprise ending ... I just never saw it coming! :)
DawnJabout 16 years agoI'm tempted to be alliterative, but I'll just say I love it! And what better, more deserving creature to celebrate than the mysterious cat! Very cute poem, Broz!
sassynycabout 16 years agoyou had me going. i was sure this was a dame, right up until the very last stanza. what brilliant subterfuge. you know, that title was deliciously solicitous.
sweet GA peachesover 16 years agoare you sure you were not fishing ? For I fell, hook, line, and sinker.. It was a cat ? A meow cat ? lol...... very well, I know when I have been taken, in. She may have left, But atleast, she came...didn't she ? ......... sGp.
BikeNutabout 17 years agoThe perfect pet. She's independent, clean, and well behaved. Between work and riding the bike trails and roads, who has time for a dog? It's like a demanding child.
OSoBuffabout 18 years agoAnd she loves cats as well which is a good thing with the spoiled cat I have ruling the apt. Only mine stays inside---she has to---she's all fur and I'm not about to bathe her after a romp through nature!!!
SweetDealabout 18 years agoAnyone knows, in a house where a cat's kept, it's the household head!
PatHous56about 18 years agoYou had me wondering where you were going with this. Love that surprise ending. I'm sure your guard keep all other animals of the night at bay, or had herself quite the midnight snack. Patricia
CaPic267about 18 years agoLeon, He's got his mutt, but I've got my own tom cat, Frisco. You had me going there; started thinking you'd gone downhill. Such a relief to know you are still you; I'm sure Frisco would love you. I know I love this poem of yours! CP
EmJ0385about 18 years agoI'm printing this out and framing it and placing it over my cat's bed which she so kindly shares with me.
Emily
Wanton Vixxxenover 18 years agodo I need to become a stray {in My fur coat, of course} before I'm invited in? This was a sneaky,{ you had Me duped 'til the end!} and unique spin on an otherwise everyday subject~ homeowner opens door to get the paper; homeowner sees homeless animal looking hungry, thirsty and cold; homeowner becomes sucker; homeowner becomes new pet owner.
I enjoyed your version ~ pet becomes new homeowner and "She Came"... and went as she pleases.<grinnin'> Once again, a feline slinky twist of a read that I really enjoyed.
Vixxx
dcpoet44over 18 years agoloved the subliminal undertone here. here is one of your lines i think could give it a bit of different effect. take it or not - your choosing. here is the stanza:
The night she came into my life
The cold hard mist was driven;
and it pierced the naked skin
Like an endless maelstrom of daggers.
here it is modified:
The night she came into my life
The cold hard mist was driven;
pierced the naked skin [omit *and it*]
Like an endless maelstrom of daggers.
Anonymousover 18 years agoIt hooked me from the beginning...I kept wondering where you were going. Great write!
Julia (Curiouswife)
