- Erotic Poetry
- Submission
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Click hereSubmission
Oct.20,2004c
Phone rings
heart pounds
Her voice soft and clear
Hands tremble
Breathing imparied
Her voice in my head
Slut ordered
Obeys willingly, wantonly
the implements prepared
Nervous giggle
Her laugh, Husky
she knows
Her voice in my head
My head flled with Her
Desire builds, begs implore
Denied
Whimpers, soft and low
Heard
Question asked, question answered
Punishment swift and sweet
Done, forgotten
Lesson learned
Obedience given
Desire builds
Begs implore
Commanded to give it all
To Her
The moan soft, building
The scream sweet
Mistress pleased
Slut smiles
her world complete
Mistress pleased
- COMMENTS
DanaQtover 19 years agoIt would sound better if you would add more to the lines.
Example:
The phone rings
My heart starting pounding (or racing)
I heard her voice soft and clear.
My hands tremble
With my breath being impaired
Since her voice was in my head (or still in my head)
(still on my mind?)
It was kind of hard for me in these lines because who was the one doing what? Was it her or you? I'm kind of guessing, assuming it was you. It would've been nice to see you write it out though.
Over-all, good read.
