Superman In The Office

I never fly to work
too much stuff to carry: lunch, briefcase
if I stop for groceries on the way home
how would I carry that?
on rainy days, I'd just get soaked
in the car, I can listen to my CDs
read the sports page at stoplights

I don't wear the outfit in the office
I'd feel like a total dork
Dockers and a polo shirt for me

nobody really knows what to call me
mostly, they just say "hey man"
I envy guys named Steve

my boss is OK
he might be kind of scared of me
I used to have one
that was a complete jerk
ego-tripping because
He Told Superman What To Do

super strength is way over-rated
how much strength does it take
to type on a computer?
once I helped a guy
change a flat in the parking lot

you might think it would be cool
to have X ray vision
but, how could I look a coworker in the face
after I'd just been looking in her panties?

nobody really wants me to play
on the company softball team
I don't really like going out with the gang
after work
some idiot always has a couple beers
then wants to arm wrestle me
even though he knows
I could throw him through the ceiling

yeah, I have a big dick too
fat lot of good it does me
yet another Super Power
that don't mean squat
in the real world