The Game

Dear reader, please note that this may seem more a ranting than a poem and I suppose it is. It is something I wrote in an effort to express lingering feelings over a recent situation I endured, so read with an open mind. Thanks.

You told me I had no cause to worry
No reason to be afraid
All I had to do
Was place in you
My faith.

I explained to you
That I was afraid
As I had never before
Taken a chance
To let a man close to me
To expose my heart to
Potential pain.

But you were so persistent
So seemingly strong
And true
And before I knew it
I allowed myself to fall
In love with you.

Every wall I lived behind
Every guard I so prized
I lowered them all
And I allowed you inside.

I gave you my heart
And I over to you
My body I turned
Allowing you to be
The first to make
Sweet love to me.

It was blissful and sweet
I savored the passion
Each time you touched me
And I thanked you
Time and time again
For teaching me to trust
And for convincing me
To allow you in.

For a moment in time
A beautiful moment
It seemed
I possessed no regrets
And my soul felt free.

And then it happened
The dreaded and dark
Day came
When you stood before me
And with a shrug of your shoulders
You said
Sorry
But it was all just a game.

The world seemed to crash around me
The sky above turned gray
And all I could do was cry
Knowing I would never be the same
As you coldly explained to me
That all the sweet words
And gentle promises you made
Had simply been part of a play.

It felt as if I died inside
My heart
Shattered in my chest
As I stood and struggled
Trying so hard
To make sense of it all.

The nightmare I most feared
Came to life that day
As I realized
For a fool I had been played
All for the sake
Of a fucking game.

Since that day
I have wondered how
And why
And why me…
Why did you choose me
To be the fool in your game?

I want to understand
And I want to forgive
Not you
But me
For the silly mistake I made
In allowing myself to believe
That you were different in some way.

So now it is I
Who lives with the pain
While you move on
Or back
In this case
To someone who could never
And will never
Love you as much as I did
And would have
Had you not shattered my heart
And my soul
All for the sake
Of your fucking game.