The Graham Cracker Queen

The Graham Cracker Queen
of Cumberland County

Life starts and ends at the Cracker Barrel Palace
where her old man slings burgers, two for a buck,
and counts cherries a nickel apiece.
You see, they get more for vanilla cokes
and she sells more of them
than anyone else…

although you don't get rich
a nickel at a time.

She was six foot tall with Betty Grable legs
and no one could resist watching her walk
without imagining her in the backseat of their car,
after they'd stall out the Ford
and lie about the gas.
It was a story she knew well.

I heard one guy say
that he'd taken her out to Two Lights
to watch the submarine races
and that she'd brought along a pair of binoculars
to watch the action.
He said he got in her pants,
but we knew better
'cause she was too pure & clean
to be pushin' the cushions
with a greaser like him.

I didn't tell him he was a liar
as he guzzled his brewskie and belched,
swaggering like some kid home from boot camp.
I just listened and smiled,
then watched him puke in the bushes
(which he thought was cool).
I didn't tell him I had her picture in my wallet
that she had signed "A friend always"
and that gave me the right to kick his face in.
He wasn't worth it.
Besides, he was a better fighter than me.

I watched her skate by holding a tray full of cokes,
and nearly passed out when she bent over
the window of the Chevy,
riding her feet back and forth, her butt keeping time
to the music that squawked on the loudspeaker…
the Wolfman spinning tunes,
talking dirty and telling everyone
to get nude.

It wouldn't be long before
we'd be going to war.

I'd battle books in college.

The greaser would go to Danang,
lose an arm and come home a hero,
still swaggering and drinking beer
and now, bragging about killing gooks…
before puking in the bushes.

She'd enter the pageant at the county fair,
winning the title of Graham Cracker Queen.
We rode up together in the backseat
of her parent's car and she was worried
and scared, and I held her hand.
I thought it was love,
though I never saw her again.

She won the blue ribbon
and her old man hung it in the window
back at the drive in
where she hustled burgers, two for a buck,
and sold more vanilla cokes than anyone else
and that made him prouder still…

although you don't get rich
a nickel at a time.