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Click hereI can see my time is up. Beat
from worries. Lost and sometimes
alone, I scurry over and around
trying to re-find my way back.
I tell myself, this time will be different.
This time, I will walk away and never look back
but you know me better than anyone, sometimes
even better than I know myself.
Did you feel it? That ever familiar choke hold
creeping up, grasping as grim reaper talons
took charge of my souls rhythm. You must have,
otherwise we would be fantasizing about our future,
instead of sitting in this graveyard of honesty,
that houses twin souls forever floating
from one memory to the next.
The first three strophes are average, but the last four lines end the poem on a strong note. I'd like to see a revision of this poem. It's certainly worthy of a little more work.
which is a very good thing, though I think you could edit it down some. Just my opinion, but I think a spare, grim tone would fit the thene really well.
Your poem (and only your poem lol) has been recommended in today's New Poems review at the Poetry Feedback and Discussion Forum. Thanks for the read! :-)