The silent screamer

My heart is broken - did you not hear it scream?
It is heavy , does it not show?
My feet are leaden,
My eyes are lifeless and dull.
 
 Is there way to drain this poison? I need to know.
The battle rages between my mind and soul.
My heart has checked out. 
not a sound does it utter,
Battered, bruised, torn asunder, hiding in a dark corner.
 
My soul tries to bathe and reassure it with a soothing
balm of words and light.
Better to have loved and lost.
We reached great heights and will again. 
It was wondrous feeling was it not?
 
 My mind has its battle dress on
Sharpening its tongue to fine honed edge,
Coating the blade with a black bitterness and anger.
Always the survivor.
At what cost was that great wondrous feeling?
The price was too high.
 
Stay huddled in your corner, I will protect you, protect us.
It is armor you need. 
This was a lesson, hard learned, painfully so.
 Submerse yourself in it, isolate it, feel it, use it.

 Maybe my heart will heal, don't they always?
Perhaps not completely.
There must be a chink in the armor -
No matter how strong,
Inevitably the weak spot is found.
In it slips, eerily finding its target. 
 
All it may take is a word, glance. A slight smile.
It triggers a small memory of boundless joy, of euphoria....
.... And so it begins once again.