- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Travel log tonight
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Click hereA NOTE
I am not sure if I could call what I wrote a poem or a story. Instinctively, I chose the current category, but my doubts linger
I was uncomfortable and tired and could not wait to put my head on my pillow. It was the only thing I brought with me to the sleep clinic, but I was not holding my breath for what was to come. I knew the procedure; the many monitoring wires made me feel more like an astronaut. But I could not see any sleep in my future.
The tech. was polite when he reminded me to lie on my back when I sleep. Ha! I never sleep on my back - ever! “You will tonight” he said matter- of- factly. Then, he attached to my face his whispering air mask, and left me in the dark.
I was in a deep sleep before I knew it.
Suddenly I was shaken out of a sweet comfortable web, and for a while refused to leave.
“Good morning!” said the somewhat tired voice of my technician. Then, like a fortune teller of my past, or a reader of my fortune cookie he congratulated: “You had many long dreams!”
I understood that I have just safely landed after a peaceful, yet highly eventful night.
- COMMENTS
Bill Dadaover 17 years agoInteresting. At first I wasn't sure, but by the end it seemded to be a poem and a very interesting one.
BD
KOLKOREover 17 years agoAuthorI am a beginner,and prone to mistakes, flops ets. Your approacch is appreciated both by what you say and by what you don't. I for one have a lot to learn from you and implement when I respond to others.
Reg. that clinic , I learned that there is no reason to suffer. You can change your sleep pattern in one night with the apppropriate measures (all that is not very "poetic" in the romantic sense at least).
But the wonderous moment for me was when the tech could actually tell ME how many dreams I had and how long they lasted! I should have asked him if he knew what I dreamed about as well...
Who else could tell you in real life, "Good morning man, you had many, long dreams??
KOLKOREover 17 years agoAuthorThank you much for your comments. I gather that you could see it going both ways? On the “story side” the truth is that in my university days I took one course on "The Super Short French Stories" They ran, one paragraph to one page, and seemed quite crazy then. (I just wish I remembered my French). I just know that have I posted it as a story, I would have been roasted. Following your idea I will play with the lines = play with the meanings. There is nothing like a rhythm (what is it? The cave man in us?) which a poem can provide.
Man Rayover 17 years agonice bit of prose! Sleep clinics are an oxymoron are they not! I’ve ‘enjoyed’ chronic insomnia for as long as I recall.
I whole-heartedly concur w/ My Erotic Snail. You make Literotica sing with your attentiveness to the site and its poets/authors. Your critiques alone raise the standard bar. For that alone I thank you!
My Erotic Trailover 17 years agookay, I had to laugh when I realized you were an experiment <grin I think this poem worked best as prose and I realize poetry is not built the same as a short story but felt that variable stanzas may have broke the poem up into segments that would have helped the flow of the poem <just a thought> thanks for the feedback that you give so freely. There does not seem to be near enough comments on the poems these days. I for one have been busier than a beaver in a flood but I do try and read and comment on the poems presented. Thank you for your time and comments on ALL poems.
(~_~)
